Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"



A Multitude of Thanks

It dawned on me when I was in the shower this morning, that, unlike after my successful cycle with my older son wherein I wrote a heartfelt note and bought a bottle of Cristal for my RE, I hadn’t properly or formally expressed my thanks this time.  And, this time, gosh, this time is so […]

Free your Mind

I am hoping for continued positive beta progression tomorrow when I go in for beta #3.  I cannot formulate the words to express how badly and deeply I want this pregnancy to develop.  For the first time in almost 5 years, I am currently relieved of the burden of planning, considering, discussing, conjuring, negotiating, or […]


It is hard to fathom that I am discussing this in terms of myself. It is so completely otherworldly that I am here.

I can’t believe how quickly this deFET is upon me.  It is CD2 and I have started meds. My protocol will include both oral estrace and estrogen patches, baby aspirin, pre-natal vitamins, […]

Blogger Identity Guilt (My 2nd Blogoversary!)

I started this blog, two years ago today, as a place to sort out how I was feeling after undergoing 5 additional own-egg IVFs, one DE cycle, and one DEFET, in pursuit of the 2nd child we are still trying to have.  It was a dark, emotionally tangled time.  Rarely, has this blog been directly […]

Defining Moments (NIAW)

In my 41 years I have known great joy and unspeakable sorrow. While this journey has the happiest of endings let me tell you how I got there. As I put words to paper this story seems unbelievable even to me. But it is my life blanket, woven together by threads of experience.

I was […]

I Have My Son’s Bed to Make

A year ago this Thanksgiving we transitioned our son to a full size bed. I remember the “do we or don’t we” decision making process. At 2 1/2 he had long physically outgrown his crib but it hadn’t really dawned on him that he could climb out. And, it never really did. But he needed […]

Forbidden Fruit Syndrome

If you’ve ever dieted on a program that restricts or denies food options (no carbs, or no refined sugar, or no fat, etc) then you know the psychology of denial. The more we are told we can’t have something, the more we want it, often to the point of obsession. Tell me I can’t have […]

Narrowed down

There are a lot of factors that come in to play re: our options, namely finances, process, wait time, whether or not I truly want to be pregnant again, potential birth mother, sibling integration, and to a lesser degree familial perceptions of whether/how we build our family. While I am still conflicted (which is a […]

Decisions, decisions. What to do?

I am at a serious crossroads. The great news is that my husband has finally found his way and we are on board, together, in wanting another child. His inclination is to adopt (he is very fearful of me being pregnant again because of my incompetent cervix that resulted in an emergency cerclage and 5 […]

The post in which I laugh out loud

We stopped ART a year ago this weekend when the FET from our donor cycle was canceled. I seriously thought that once I decompressed from the 2 years of active treatment, we’d be prepared move forward with adoption. The groundwork was already laid in that I’ve had two consultations, have been to three seminars and […]