Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"



Settling in

Today marks the end of the 5th week that I’ve been a SAHM. Having been a career woman most of my life (and with every intention of going back to work at some, undetermined, point), I wasn’t sure I was looking forward to my new role. Let me reveal a little something about myself as a mother. I am the teach you, guide you, direct you, take you places, hang with you type of mother and not so much the be on the floor for hours, do the same puzzle umpteen times, make mud pies or let you paint yourself with chocolate Jell-O, create endless crafts or projects and let the house go to pot while I be with my child kind of mother. And, I’ve struggled with this for some time as we consider having another child. I think to myself maybe only the get on the floor, happy to play with a child all day kind of mother is the one who should be having multiple children and not me. But, I digress.

This transition has been much easier than I anticipated. My husband is happy being at work (and I think enjoys the diversity of working two part-time jobs) after his two year stint as an almost full-time SAHD. I am settling into a routine that involves getting up, getting breakfast for my son, having an agenda for the morning, picking him up from school, perhaps running one errand on our way home, playing for a bit, putting him down for nap, answering emails or making calls or doing housework or planning or making meals or occasionally napping myself or catching up on DVR or reading one of the 15 books I have on my summer reading shelf until he wakes up, then doing an afternoon activity before getting dinner on the table for all of us. And, best of all, my son seems to be flourishing. He is far less temperamental or prone to tantrums, far more relaxed than he seemed when I would come home from a day at the office, and generally more good natured.

I think this also has a lot to do with the vibe in our house. My husband was only (and I don’t say that as a put down or judgment) able to manage our son or the couple of items I might leave on a Honey-Do list, so it required me, who was working full-time out of the house, to come home, pick up/clean up after both of them, make and serve dinner (or, God forbid, if I hadn’t planned well or was too tired, decide where we’d go out or what to order in), and do a slew of other household chores (and ladies, you KNOW what I’m talking about) which generally made me bitter, cranky, and tired. I, on the other hand, am able to completely multi-task, plan my day and execute it, compress my errand running, keep the house up, and get some me time in. As a result, our home is calmer and happier and less frenetic.

And, it is helpful that I have a lot on my plate now. Aside from trying to lose this weight (and that is NOT going so well so far. I had an accident that involved the complete detachment of my big toe nail (oh, yeah, we’re talking surgical intervention) which means that I haven’t had a chance to jog (or even walk) in the last week) and the WW eating plan alone doesn’t seem to be moving the scale (although I do need to go to a meeting), I am remodeling a 1920’s craftsman home that I own and rent out, trying to plan some fun summer getaways (or one longer vacation in August), planning our 7th wedding anniversary soiree, looking for a new house for us (and we’ve been looking since October!), hosting two play dates for two different groups that we belong to, and trying to plan a dinner to honor a beloved teacher from high school who has a brain tumor. Thank g-d I don’t work or how would I have the time!!!!

So, we are settling in and although I still have some angst surrounding the sibling issue (inertia is the death of me), I am letting other things fill the space in my mind and in my heart that I’ve created by letting go of the near non-stop ruminating, and that is very life affirming indeed.

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