Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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M to the I to the S to the C.

So many random thoughts, any of which could make for a full blog entry, but I don’t have the stamina.  Tuesday will mark 5 weeks of being sick.  It started innocently enough with a head cold that morphed into the chest cold from hell.  Many nights I would tell myself that I would go to the doctor the following day and then each morning I thought I was turning a corner toward feeling better.  This went on and on and on and I never went.  I was finally beginning to really feel better last Monday, but by Tuesday I was sick enough again to finally go see my doc.  She thought this new round of crapiness was unrelated to my chest cold (which, frankly, was probably bronchitis) and she promptly diagnosed me with seasonal allergies, take a Claritin + this Flonase and you’ll feel better in a month. Well, I am here to say that what I have is NOT allergies.  My son and I are similarly sick…with symptoms not allergy related.  We are both feeling better today and that’s the attitude I’m going with.

In adoption related news, after our 4 birth mother presentations in September I emailed the agency to remove all gender filters.  I also indicated that our results have been discouraging from the get-go, even with all things considered, and that as we approach the one year anniversary of our wait, we need a new/different/emergency plan.  We will have a conference call this week.  I will report back.

The major new home projects are nearing completion.  The stone patio from hell is finished and looks lovely.  It was $2900 vs the over $6K our contractor was going to charge us (and, that does not include the $3K he charged us to demolish it which he should have never done in the first place).  The new grass has taken root and looks lovely (and so soft to the bare foot).  If you are looking for sod, I highly recommend Ball Park blend.  Most of the new furniture is here and what is not will be arriving this week.  We need to finish painting a few windows and then tackle the interior of the garage, but we are getting there.  It is remarkable (unless, of course, you look at our dwindling savings) how much we’ve gotten done in the six weeks we’ve lived here.  We have 3 boxes of paperwork/filing/files that need to be put into the new filing cabinet and then all boxes will be unpacked.  Next we’ll figure out which of our existing art work is worthy to adorn these walls and we’ll be pretty much set (for now, you know how that goes).

There has been a disturbing turn of events with my family.  The goings on are deserving of their own post.  It involved garbage cans being swung, an early morning call from my mother with a plea that I should find my birth mother, a big falling out between my uncle and my mother (where heinous things were said that can’t be taken back), my dad showing up at my front door and asking me if he emotionally or physically abused us as kids (hmmm, weren’t you there, too?), and me left wondering how I am so grounded in the midst of the continued crazy that is my family.  None of it bodes well for the upcoming holiday traditions which is just as well as I think we’d like to beg out.

I have lost 44 lbs!  I have been on various weight loss plateaus for most of this year, but when I look back to the 1st week of January, I have lost 16 lbs this year.  Not quite the pace from 2010, but still losing.  I am within 20 lbs of my goal weight and understand that it might be much slowing going the closer I get.  At my height, that makes me a size 12 in pants (jeans, even!) (I put on a pair of 10s and can see that when I’ve reached my goal weight,  I will be an 8 ) and a medium in tops. I bought some new things, weeded out some old and am, overall, very excited!

Another subject deserving of its own post is just how quickly my son is growing up and how I long for and miss his infancy/toddlerhood.  There is so much good and rich (and challenging) about being a mother to a 4 1/2 year old, but we barely get any huggie or snuggle time any more.  He is fiercely independent, very perceptive, sensitive, smart and active.  I love the rare moments we can just ‘be’ together.  As much as I want to hop off the family building train because of how wearing it is, I can not escape the haunting feeling of what not having another would be like.  I know we would be fine, good, great, in fact.  I know, know, know how seemingly easy life would be.  But where is the fun in that?

I have friends coming in to visit this coming week/end & mom’s breakfast tomorrow with two of my favorite mom friends.  I’m hosting a baby shower for a dear friend who is having #2, a boy, seven and a half years after my god-daughter was born.  We are preparing for Halloween and then thinking about what Thanksgiving has in store given, you know, the family falling out.  Oh, and a former colleague asked me to do some contract work which I’ve agreed to do.  Will be nice to generate positive cash flow.

It is 75 degrees, crystal clear with blue skies here.  The birds are literally chirping outside my bedroom window as I type this.  Time for lunch.

My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.
In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
~Cary Grant

2 comments to M to the I to the S to the C.

  • Lut C.

    Lots going on indeed!

    I’m curious to hear what the adoption agency will say.

    I’m impressed at the progress at your house. I’m not sure we managed to unpack everything after our last move – years ago.

    The family drama doesn’t bode well for the holiday season, I can imagine you want a rain check. Hope things calm down.

    My 4yo isn’t much into cuddling either, and I do long to cuddle her so much.

  • I’m always so amazed at just howmuch you have going on when I read these updates! Congrats on the weight loss progress and getting over the hump moving. We are also contemplating a move and it sounds…exhausting. I’m sorry to hear about your family situation; it sounds like everyone is hurting. I would hope that going through this would help everyone come to a place where you could resolve things or at least come to terms with them, but I know relationships are just complicated and will be what they will be. Best of luck with all you have going on.

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