Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"




The storm and power outage put me so far behind. There are so many things to do and I can’t seem to accomplish enough to level set my To DO list, much less get ahead. Life has gotten so busy, with many things to do and places to be, so once we regained power, I was already behind but because I’ve had so many things scheduled, I still haven’t been able to catch up.

I was disappointed in our holiday photos this year (through no fault of our own) and had hoped that the photographer was going to be able to Photoshop at least one image into something usable. She wasn’t. Waiting for her to come through put me further behind in getting our Christmas cards out and not having power made it even worse because I couldn’t edit the holiday card list, print labels, print the photo, etc. I must find a way to get that done.

I completed the letter to my birth mother. With the help of a very good friend and former co-worker (who I miss collaborating with), I was able to create the family medical history checklist. I’ve been so busy lately, I sometimes forget I found her (my birth mother, not my friend).  I decided not to inquire about my birth father in this go around.  Depending on her response to me, I’ll inquire about him and I’ll also ask her to send some photos if she doesn’t include them on her own, which I suspect she won’t.

Our Christmas tree was delivered and we managed (and by we, I mean my husband) to get our lights hung outside. I decorated the living room (and, in doing so, realized that most of my holiday decorations from the old house don’t really ‘go’ with the new house, so I will need to get some new pieces), the tree is trimmed, and it’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.

I haven’t done a lick of Christmas shopping. Forget shopping, I haven’t even thought about who I need to buy for. And, whatever brick and mortar shopping that needs to happen must this week as my son’s school is closed for the last two weeks of the year and with him in tow, shopping with me won’t be on his list of fun things to do.

The word that comes to mind to describe how I’m feeling of late is unsettled. It is carryover from the move + the displacement from the power outage + the wearing of the nebulousness of the adoption wait + underlying familial discord (both with my family and now with my birth mother (not discord, yet, but similar)) + the alternate path to completing our family we may take to augment our adoption efforts + planning for the holidays which includes an 8 day visit from my MIL. It has been a lot, even for me.

Plus, the neighborhood asshole of the year left us another note. It was the last day of the four day power outage. We went to the movies to escape the cold of the house. The dogs were outside because it was warmer there than inside. The note read, “Dogs…yap…yap…yap. Good will gone.” I was so incensed that I crumpled it up and put it back on his mail box. Enough already. DONE!

My son has a bug and was in bed all afternoon with a fever.  I’ll keep him home from school tomorrow which means that not much catching up is likely to happen.  I am trying not to stress about it because if I do, overwhelm will lead to paralysis and, well, we can’t have that!

“People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

2 comments to Behind

  • I ALWAYS have this ‘unsettled’ feeling inside me — which I sometimes wonder could be an adoptee thing, but I doubt it. Some times are just like that. Unsettled. I envy my husband, who always seems content/calm no matter what life throws at him.

    I definitely second the online shopping idea. It has been such a relief to just knock out huge chunks of it all at once and it is amazing how fast some of these places deliver now, and for free. I think the UPS guy is starting to get a bit irritated with me, though.

    Hope your son feels much better by now! And congrats on finishing that birthmom letter. Would you mind sharing that medical checklist at some point? I am pretty curious.

  • wow, that’s tons and tons of stuff to do. I wish I had some useful suggestion, but I fear you have already thought of all the ways to get stuff done expediently. Like adding a few hours to each day…
    oh and your neighbor. One thing in his / her favor. Less words. Probably less spelling mistakes. I think you did the right thing by returning the note. It is so horrible to have that kind of festering worry over the people who live right on your doorstep. Boo!
    Online shopping is good – and you might get stuff delivered by Christmas if you order now.
    So glad you got your birth mom letter written. And yes, staying at home means missing those kinds of great collaborations – which I think we take for granted when we are working. Hope the little one feels better soon:) (hugs) to you. Not sure if you are a huggy person, but I always find that they help me!!!

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