Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Twenty-Eleven is a Wrap

In reflection, it has been a big year of change for me and my family. In essence, it has been a transitional year. So many things have changed, and mostly in good ways. I continued my weight loss, albeit at a much slower pace, and am now down 46# and 30 inches. Beyond the physical transformation, I am a much more conscious eater, making better food choices more often than not, my hair, skin and nails are better, and I have much more energy (mostly regular sleep patterns also aid in this).

We moved. Gosh, this was monumental on so many levels. I lived in our former house for 16 years and had so many warm memories and experiences tied to living there. It saw me through the break-up of a not-good-for-me decade long relationship, the first date (literally at the house during a party I threw) with my now husband, the planning of our wedding, my many ART treatments, my 7 pregnancies (and 6 miscarriages), one of which produced the 5+ month long home bed rest and eventual c-section delivery of my son, and the deaths of my beloved grandmother and both our beloved dogs. My son’s entire infancy to toddlerhood and all the associated milestones were witnessed in that house. I held countless holiday parties, baby showers, birthday parties, and play dates and lived the hell out of that house. The time had come for us to branch out and to have more and better configured space for our growing family.

In buying our new house, we also undertook many home improvement projects.  We moved from a traditional to a mid-century modern home and that required new furniture and accessories (including Christmas tree decor, something I failed to consider until we were actually trimming the tree).  It was a much bigger undertaking than I (even with my careful planning) anticipated and, while there will always be projects, we are mostly settled in. We had a joyful and peaceful Christmas here and the energy in this house is pure and positive.

My son switched schools, starting pre-school at what will become his elementary school. We lost many of the friends we had at his old school and through the Mom’s Club we’d been members of since he was 2, but are beginning to make new friends as we navigate his private school and our new neighborhood. I enjoy being part of his education and involved in the myriad activities his school has.

We passed the one year mark actively waiting with our agency. That anniversary caused me to re-evaluate the other options we have to completing our family and, while I haven’t written about it, we’ve been matched with donated embryos, have completed the necessary testing to proceed with an FET, and are working toward completing the paperwork associated with the donation. The fact that I feel like a fraud after embracing (and celebrating) never being pregnant again and have now done a complete about face is deserving of (and will get) its own post. It isn’t like we dipped our toes into adopting. We jumped in with both feet and eyes wide open and without looking back once in 2 years. Yet, as I approach my 46th birthday next year and we are seemingly not closer to completing our family, we MUST get on with it someotherhow.

Also deserving of its own post is the continue degradation of the relationship with my mom. Unless and until she gets professional help and makes strides into regaining some semblance of emotional and psychological health, I imagine it will continue to deteriorate. It is sad and disappointing but is no longer see it as my responsibility to fix.

And, for those of you following along, I have not yet received a response from my birth mother.  I mailed my letter to her the Monday before Christmas.  It took her 3 weeks to respond to my first letter.  Tick tock.

I have my sights firmly fixed on the promise this new year brings.  My biggest hope for 2012 is that we complete our family, a dream that is 5 years in the making.  I continue to live in a place of gratitude for all that I have, my husband and son most importantly, and the friends that I count as my chosen family.  May we all continue to be blessed with good health.

Where ever you are as you read this, I hope that your life is as you would like it to be and that if it is not you have the resources to bring about the change you want.  We each have but one life and as we wake up each morning we decide how we are going to spend the 24 hours ahead of us.  May the hours you have in each day fill you with joy and contentment and may your cup always be at least half full.

Happy New Year and cheers to 2012!

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
~Seneca

4 comments to Twenty-Eleven is a Wrap

  • We just moved, and it’s good to hear from someone on the other side of making it!

  • Sarah

    It makes sense to me that you’ve included embryo
    Adoption–it’s so hard to just keep waiting,and waiting. Do you know why yOu were on bedrest for five mOnths? Anything that can prevent it next time?

  • Happy 2012! You really did have a big year. And, wow on the embryo donation! Why would you be a fraud for seeking an alternate route to building your family when your current route wasn’t working? This would have been the next path we took had the adoption not worked out for us. Looking forward to hearing more about that. Hope 2012 brings you many good things.

  • Tireegal

    Happy New Year, my friend! What a lot of transitions you have been through in 2011! All preparation I hope for a wonderfully fulfilling 2012!!! And Embryo donation recipients! Wow!
    I look forward to reading some of the posts you are planning and have hinted at. And I look forward to cheering you along the way! May the sun shine along the journey!

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