Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Moving right along

I am in the due diligence phase of bringing a sibling into our family. I feel like I have been in this phase for the better part of three years, although I finally feel like we are making some progress, moving in two directions at once.

I signed up with and posted a profile to a donated embryo matching site that has no religious affiliation (those couples that believe that life begins at conception place their embryos for “adoption” and much like in traditional adoption, a home study, etc is required, which is not the case with this site). Signing up gives me the option to review donor profiles (couples who have embryos to donate) as well as allow donors who may not have posted a profile to view ours. So far, no matches.

I belong to a group that is specifically for those attempting pregnancy through donor egg and the founder of the group posted our profile and often comes across couples who are finished building their families that have embryos to donate. She emailed me this week that she may have 12 Caucasian blasts but had no other information. Like the matching site, she would put the donating couple and us in touch and we would both decide if we’re a match for each other or not.

I had a follow up with my RE regarding my clinic’s donated embryo program. Essentially, couples who have built their families through IVF or DE donate their embryos to the clinic with the expressed desire that they be anonymously donated to a couple who is trying to build their family. There are 14 female blasts that we are investigating (10 from one couple (they were trying for a boy so these were from two fresh cycles) and four more from two other couples (one of which transferred two girls to a surrogate who got pregnant with twins). We will have another conversation next week. Their “program” is not very well developed so I had more questions than he had answers. I am not sure how I feel about the anonymity of it (which is funny because on the opposite spectrum I am concerned about the openness of adoption), but we’ll cross that bridge if any of these embryos are viable.

And, I emailed the founder of the adoption firm indicating that we are ready to move forward. He was, naturally, very excited for us. We’ve been dancing around this option for almost three years and I know he feels that we would make an attractive recipient couple to a prospective birth mother. I’ve not acted yet to get us in process but I know what we need to do when we are really ready.

I am still unsure exactly which direction we’ll head or whether we’ll pursue both simultaneously. At this moment I’m feeling that, as unsure as I am, I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and that the path will reveal itself. I am staying focused on the end result which is to have another child while not getting too wrapped up in the means to that end. And I’m trying to have faith that the child we are meant to have will find us; I just need to be open to the process. This is so much easier said than done.

1 comment to Moving right along

  • OMG I laughed out loud at due diligence – you must do something like I do for a living!!!

    Thanks for sharing your experiences. I would have definitely donated any embryos if we would have ever had any extra…

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