Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Thank g-d for friends

I’ve posted before about the unfortunate loss of friendships over the course of my struggle with infertility and even before. I am a bit of a lightening rod and folks either tend to love me or not (hate is too strong a word, but you get the idea). What can I say, I’m Italian and a Taurus. ‘Nuff said. And, while from time to time I am melancholy with memories of a friendship lost, I have made peace with and believe that things happen for a reason and some friendships aren’t meant to last a lifetime but, rather, for a particular chapter in one’s life.

However, I do have a close knit inner circle of close friends…some lifelong, others relatively new who have been a tremendous support to me as I navigate the decision making process of whether to proceed with a donated embryo cycle (should we find suitable embryos) or with domestic adoption.

I can’t quite put in to words, although I will try, just what having each of them as a sounding board means to me. Whether it is my friend, half-way across the country, and a mother to two boys and contemplating having another who just wants me to go for it and is excited no matter which path I chose; or my male friend on the east coast who always helps me sift and sort through the various permutations to get to the core issue with no bias of his own; or my new friend, a mother of three who is fascinated by my story and my options and genuinely interested when I lay each out for her; or my oldest friend, from elementary school, who just wants me to be happy but who happens to be a lawyer so plays devil’s advocate with me; or one of my younger friends (15 years younger!) who has one child and gets the desire to not want to upset the apple cart of our little family of three but reminds me that all she’s ever heard me talk about was the desire to have two children; they each are willing to listen, are genuinely interested, are supportive without judgment, and who, at their core, want to see me get to the other side of this long process to bring another child into our family.

I am so grateful to have nurtured these friendships so that I can count on their advice and counsel now because they know me, know us, in ways that an acquaintance or even my family members do not. I feel uplifted and joyful and humble and appreciative that they care enough to help usher me through this process without pushing me, or getting frustrated that it’s taking so long, or rolling their eyes when it seems I’m indecisive, or judging me. And, while I know that is what real friends are for, it’s still nice to acknowledge that they choose to be in my life and on this journey with me. With that, I send gratitude and love out to T and J and A and B and A.

1 comment to Thank g-d for friends

  • Thanks for the comment on my blog! I’ve been so out of it, it is great to feel a connection with the bloggy world of IF sisters.

    I feel like we are really at a similar place right now – although my son is turning NINE (holy cow how did that happen?!) in Oct; and I do have 4 embies at my disposal. I really hope the embryo donation thing works out for you – but maybe persuing both that and adoption together will make the path more clear to you. And at our advanced (and exactly the same!) age one wants to get on with things. One way or another. Good luck!

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