Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Transfer

I arrived at the clinic very early this morning (in fact, for the first time ever, I was the only car in the parking lot) and because of the early hour, I went alone, leaving my husband and son still asleep at home.   Since my RE had not arrived, I was able to speak to the embryologist myself.  Of the two embryos we had yesterday, the 6 cell stopped dividing.  However, the 8 cell had become a compacted morula! (bottom right)

I breathed a sigh of relief that ONE had thrived.  It was the embryologist’s opinion that we should transfer it today, as A) by survival of the fittest, it was THE fit embryo, B) it was exactly where it needed to be, and C) the uterine climate is preferential.  I waited for my RE who absolutely agreed and all seemed to be very optimistic (remember, egg donor was 21, sperm donor was 27).

The clinic has changed its procedure for transfers from the last time I had one.  Back then, they used transvaginal ultrasound guidance and now they are using abdominal ultrasound guidance.  He said that when they were using transvaginal guidance, the transfer catheter often ended up scraping the uterine cavity as the catheter and transducer competed for space in cramped quarters.  They have seen an increase in pregnancy rates in the two years since making the change.  It seems so intuitive and was something I always wondered about.  I can also say that transfer was virtually pain free as a result (not that my prior transfers were painful, but definitely more uncomfortable).

The 2ww usually does me in psychologically.  The never ending “Am I?” “No, I’m not” thoughts derail me.  Given the degree to which I view even having the opportunity to do this as a gift, I am going to try to not drive myself crazy this time (operative word: try).  My feeling is that these embryos could not have been a better physical match for my husband and I, my lining was great (1.01cm at transfer), this morula selected itself, and transfer was smooth.  I am in far better physical shape than I was when I conceived my son.  It certainly can happen, so why not think that way?  I will be just as disappointed if this doesn’t work whether my attitude throughout the next two weeks is negative or positive, so why not cut myself some slack?

If you believe in a universal life force or in the power of prayer, I am humbly asking to be included in your thoughts.  I simply cannot believe that after 8 years, 11 cycles, and 2 1/2 years away from any attempt at conception, here I am.  Please, please, please, please, please let this work.  Even resting here, typing this, it is hard to remember that an embryo has been transferred into me.

Though you lose all hope, there is still hope, and it loves to surprise.
~Robert Brault

11 comments to Transfer

  • Tireegal

    I loved how you made the decision about what to do with those two embryos – I would not have had the fortitude – and how you got one self selecting embryo – it became so clear. All is as good as it could be. Please, universe, knock this lady up good and proper! Xox

  • Things sound about as awesome as they could be — I really hope you are able to get through the wait in a peaceful mental-space (and of course get that very wonderful result which we all hope for!). I’ve got a lot of blog-reading to catch up on, but you will definitely be in my thoughts.

  • Mo

    Thinking all good thoughts for you – nice to be in the 2ww together!! Please may we both get some good news. Please, Universe, you hear me?!

    Mo

  • Peg

    Sending you positives vibes!!!!

  • Thinking good thoughts for you! I’m so glad you were able to navigate what worked best for you in your last round of decision making, and that your doctor was right there with you. Willing this pregnancy to stick (and for you to keep as sane as possible this next two weeks) from over here!

  • Thrilled that things developed the way you hoped they would — yay for self-selection!! So glad, too, that your team was supportive of your instincts and that they led you in the right direction. All my positive thoughts coming your way!

  • Glad to hear that your transfer went well. That is interesting and encouraging how things have changed since your last time around. That picture of your embryos is very cool to see. Let’s hope it’s your baby’s first photo! Sending lots of positive thoughts, prayers and sticky vibes your way! Congrats on being Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (PUPO)! I really want this to work for you and your family and will be abiding with you in the days to come. I believe in miracles and really want this to be yours! xoxo

  • Lut C.

    I’m so happy you made it to transfer! And you’re very right, looking on the bright/dark side in the 2WW won’t make a difference once you know the outcome.
    My thoughts are with you!

  • Yay for the morula!! I have such a good feeling about this. Will be sending out all kinds of positive energy for you.

  • You are right there near the TOP of my thoughts. Here’s hoping, right along with you, that this is it. Please let this work–yeah, that about sums it up.

    Fingers have been crossed. Good thoughts have been thunk. Please let this work.

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