Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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To Go or Not to Go

My husband has three upcoming, out of state, business conferences.  Originally, we planned to join him on his trip to Portland since I have never been and I thought it would be fun for our son and me.  Then he found out he has to go to Las Vegas and, since we were engaged in Vegas and haven’t been since our son was born, I decided that would be much more fun.  Plus, we’d be able to drive, making it that much easier.

His conference is Tuesday – Friday and we’d drive out on Monday and come home on Friday.  The plan was loose beyond that.  He’d be tied up from 8 – 3 every day giving us the afternoon & evening to do something as a family.  It’d be a low cost trip since his company would pay for gas and our hotel and his meals.  Other than attractions/entertainment and boarding our dog while away, the trip would be free.

If my transfer had occurred when originally planned, I would have had my first beta prior to leaving on the trip.  But, as it turns out now, this trip is during week 2 of the 2ww.  I’m not sure why I’m having misgivings about going other than I tend to be a home body during the 2ww, torturing myself with the “what ifs” from the comforts of my own home. I might welcome the distractions that Vegas will provide, but, then again, I might not.

I’m not sure if driving for 5 hours is a good idea. I’m not sure if all the walking we’d invariably do is a good idea. I’m not sure if I could have a beta drawn at some lab out there since my beta would otherwise fall on 2/24 and, if we are out of town, would be pushed to 2/27.

And, then I think, what if I’m not pregnant? How would I feel about missing this trip, then, if I stayed home? Would I much prefer to find out IN Vegas that I’m not pregnant and drown my sorrows in assorted debauchery? Would I rather find out IN Vegas WITH my husband, either way? Or, find out home with my son while my husband is away?

And, then there is the one estrogen injection that I’ll need to have while he is away. For that, I guess I could go to my clinic and have the nurse do it.

The decision needs to be made soon so that my husband can book a flight (if we decide not to go) OR so that I can find boarding for our dog (if we decide to go) and have orders written for an out of town beta.

It is not such a big deal (meaning, my heart wasn’t so set on going) that I’ll be disappointed or regret not going. We can always go to Vegas. It’s just that I told myself that I would live my life during the 2ww and try not to make decisions based on ‘what if’. But now that I am IN the 2ww and feeling fragile, I’m not sure what I want to do.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.”
~William James

7 comments to To Go or Not to Go

  • Kathy

    What a hard choice to make! I appreciate everyone encouraging you to go, but also totally get your hesitation. I was in a similar situation during our 2nd IVF cycle (which was converted to IUI, when the stim stage didn’t go well), in June 2007. I did end up going w/ my husband on a business trip to Vegas and that cycle was a bust. We had a great time on the trip and I don’t regret going. But it was also earlier on in our journey (3 out of 5 years in, but *only* our 2nd ART cycle), so I was still fairly optimistic it could work eventually. Anyway, I support whatever you decide and am abiding with you.

  • I totally get where your hesitation comes from! You don’t want to look back and think you did anything to jeopardize this cycle. At the same time, wouldn’t it be nice to have that distraction and to not let your treatment totally take over your life? It seems like you’ve thought of all the relevant factors – when you want to find out the results and with who…I know you’ll make the right decision. Once you do, don’t look back.

  • Tireegal

    Yes I agree with everyone else. Go. Take it easy if you feel like it. Plan some lounging time. Your boys will have a blast and hopefully you will too. I’m not sure what to suggest about the blood tests but I’m sure you will be able to plan it to work out. Take a couple breaks on the car journey and stretch abd enjoy. I have no clue about the trip but maybe there is somewhere fun to stop half way – for food and playtime for your boy. Take care. I know you feel fragile and don’t want to move but it might just get you down. And that embryo is doing its thing regardless of what you are doing. Believe me, I am the person who did no exercise when I was pregnant because I thought the baby might fall out. Turns out I have the steel trap kind of cervix. And I know you worry about your cervix because of all your losses. I would say ( not being a doctor you know ) that now is provably one of the best times to take a trip. Sending you big reassuring hugs!

  • Go. Live your life.

    That was the best advice anyone gave me when we were TTC. And I’m so thankful I did, especially since we’re on the other side of treatments for #2 with nothing to show for it. Living my life in the here and now, for me, was so much better than trying to create a future which turned out not to happen.

    Go on the trip. If anything, it’ll be a good distraction.

    xoxo

  • Lut C.

    I was concerned about taking a plane trip during the 2WW, would it harm my chances?
    But being away during the 2WW was a very helpful distraction.

  • Sue

    I say go. Take your mind off of things by being distracted. Do a pee stick test on your test date. Then do the blood test when you come home. Try not to overdo the walking while there, you can just be mindful and take breaks, but just walking shouldn’t be a problem I think. I would go, just for the distraction.

  • I say go! We went on a cruise druring week 2 of the 2ww that led to our son. It was great. It helped to have fun and have a distraction. A car ride and walking will not harm your hopefully growing little one. I had to put off my beta from Friday till Monday after we got home, but it was worth it. I POAS that Friday on the cruise ship.

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