I started having pain in my left side on Mothers Day morning, so much so that I stayed in bed most of the day because whenever I walked it killed me. It is hard to describe, but essentially if I bore weight on my left leg I felt a deep pain in my left side about ovary level. If I was seated and stood up, it hurt. If I twisted, it hurt. If I was lying down or otherwise motionless, I felt nothing. At any rate, when it was still the same or worse yesterday, I did check in with my nurse to see what she thought we should do. My RE seemed perplexed and recommended rest but I made an appointment for today (thinking ectopic pregnancy) if things didn’t improve or got worse. Even though I felt slightly better today, I kept the appointment because I wanted a detailed ultrasound of my left ovary and cysts to hopefully rule out ectopic and I wanted a chance to see how things were going with the pregnancy. Yes, it has only been 4 days since my last ultrasound. Sue me.
He did do a thorough exam and I am tender on both my right and left sides (I have one cyst on my right ovary and two on my left). It does not appear that an ectopic pregnancy is at the root of my pain but it was unclear as to what is. There is no blood in my uterus or in my tubes, which could also cause pain. The cysts have remained consistent in size, so growth isn’t a factor either. We agreed that I would continue to rest and come back immediately if the pain worsened.
The embryo is measuring 7w1d (I am 7w tomorrow) and the heart rate is now 125bpm. It is louder and much more distinct than just four days ago. The yolk sac was clearly visible but the embryo is pressed against the wall of the sac which is against the wall of my uterus, so it was hard to visualize much.
My next u/s is still scheduled for Wednesday, May 23 when I will be eight weeks pregnant. I am still having a hard time believing (and finding daily reassurance) that things are continuing, but they are.
As I was getting ready to leave my appointment, I noticed that all the nurses, coordinators, the med student, and my RE had congregated outside the consultation room I was in. They presented me with a lovely birthday card they all signed, a bouquet of beautiful sunflowers, and each wished me a heart felt happy early birthday. It moved me to tears as they hugged me and expressed their warm congratulations on this pregnancy. It is so humbling to have these care givers so enthusiastically invested in our good news.
For now, I continue to take things one day at a time while taking nothing for granted. I try not to beg the universe too much or too often for a successful outcome but its hard not to dip into desperation sometimes. I am so attached already to this gift, that I have to rein myself in emotionally. I wish I didn’t have to. I wish that ignorance was bliss. But those simply haven’t been the cards I’m usually dealt. Cautious optimism is a more prudent, if more difficult, pursuit.
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy