Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Leaning

I want to thank you for all of the responses both here and privately. I read all of your experiences and my heart goes out to everyone who has experienced a loss due to IC. It is a silent killer of our babies.

Of all the responses I received, there was only one that mirrors my situation in that she had a cerclage placed during her pregnancy with her son and is now 37 weeks pregnant with another boy but opted to take a watchful waiting approach that ultimately did not require the placement of a cerclage. I want to give her a shout out here as she prepares for the arrival of her son and as a thank you for connecting with me and answering my questions even though I know she is in the midst of so much. Thank you so much, Tiffany.

I am 11w2d and will have the integrated NT scan next week. Depending on those results, I may opt to proceed with the MaterniT21 test. It remains to be seen.

My new peri, Dr. C., called me on Monday to check in to see how I was processing the information from our meeting and to answer any additional questions I may have. This was impressive on its own because I cannot recall in recent or distant memory having a new doctor do this. I took the opportunity to address the ‘word on the street’ that Kaiser is not pro-cerclage to which he responded vehemently that not only was that not the case but that he was personally very aggressive when it comes to cerclage placement. I clarified the definition of CI and the circumstances under which it is diagnosed. I asked if this being a pregnancy conceived through DNA other than my own had any affect: No. I asked if my age on its own put me at greater risk: No. I asked him to recount current or past cases that were similar to mine: he did and cited studies. I asked what the occurrence of pre-term labor is in the general population: 12%. I asked if having a successful pregnancy without pre-term labor reduced my chances of pre-term labor in this pregnancy: yes, to 4%. Finally, I asked if he were watching 100 women, all with possible CI, how many would end up requiring a cerclage anyway: 10-15. What I neglected to ask was how many losses.

I fully feel that he is invested in a positive outcome for me, having only just met me. I feel like there has to be a pay-off for him if only to add another successful case of cervical surveillance to his CV. I could see, again, why some women find him arrogant, although again, that’s not exactly how I read him.

No matter, my feeling as of the writing of this post and my communication with him is that I am going to take a watchful waiting approach. We are going to begin weekly cervical checks beginning at 14 weeks (even though the standard is to begin at 16 weeks). My gut tells me that this is a prudent and informed approach. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time and opt to have a cerclage placed.

It is already hard being pregnant this time around. Again, it is probably a combination of my age and the underlying emotion tied to how hard fought this was and how extremely grateful I feel. At times, I feel that there is no alternative but for a successful outcome yet at other times I am reminded that there are no guarantees. Mo from Life and Love in a Petri Dish posted yesterday about three women who lost their pregnancies in the 2nd trimester. It was gut wrenching to read of their tragic losses and as I commented to Mo, there are no guarantees. All the hope, planning, prayers, and thoughtful protection in the world can’t sometimes prevent the unthinkable from happening.

I am now, finally, having daily success in finding the fetal heart beat. This reassurance is invaluable to me and it connects me to this pregnancy as I was connected to my pregnancy with my son. I smile each and every time I first hear the thump-thump-thumping of that little heart.

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not;
but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
~Epicurus

3 comments to Leaning

  • I like this doctor as well. Glad he followed up. I think your plan is thoughtful and allows for all options.

    Fingers still tightly crossed.

    xoxo

  • Mel

    I’m impressed with your doctor, and his phone call tells me that he is on top of things. He can’t promise you the future, but he’s monitoring the present.

  • Just getting caught up with a lot here, but am very glad to hear your new doctor called to check in on you and see if you had questions. That is pretty dang impressive! It sounds like you have developed quite a ‘team approach’ with him. That’s something I always hope for with my medical providers, but it’s a rare thing.

    I cannot believe you are so quickly approaching the 12-week mark. That is serious pregnant-time! Very awesome. I’m also quite intrigued by this MaterniT21 test — something I had never heard about before, except on your blog.

    So true about the no guarantees. With *anything*. Becoming a parent has made me extra super-mindful of this in so many areas — my son’s health, my healthy, my husband’s health, our finances, our relationships, our safety as we cross the street, etc, etc. Sometimes I feel so dang vulnerable it’s hard to even face walking out the door. Yet I guess this should also just serve as a reminder to me to savor the moment and all the blessings I do have.

    Continued good wishes for a smooth-sailing pregnancy…

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