Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

Archives

Visitors

MFM Appt, 25w5d

My husband joined me on this visit because, well, I just wasn’t sure what we’d learn and I didn’t want to be there by myself.  And, if she did order a change to my activity/lifestyle, I wanted him to hear it from her directly.

We started by doing an abdominal u/s of baby.  She took a lot of measurements and baby boy is measuring anywhere from 1 to 2 weeks ahead depending on the measurement.  And, given all the measurements, it’s estimated that he weighs 2.2#.  We finally got a good image of his face and I am happy to share it (and that is the umbilical cord by the left side of his face).

Honestly, it was so moving to see his cute little face. She also gave us an image of his footprint. To see all his measurements and to also see his face more clearly made this even more real and to some degree lent an element of peace to this whole recent cervical shortening experience.

We decided to proceed with the fFN test and I will have the results tomorrow. We decided beforehand that if any cervical measurement was under 2.5cm, we’d send it to the lab, but if not, we wouldn’t. She took a lot of measurements, conservative and not, with transducer pressure and no, abdominal pressure and no. We got measurements anywhere from just under 2.5cm to almost 3cm, depending, and decided to err on the side of caution and send the culture in. (I just got an email that the results were in and the test was negative, phew).

We talked a lot about my concerns and her lack of concern. She is very pragmatic, very thorough, and not an alarmist. She recounted the story of a woman who presented with a 2mm (that’s MILLImeter) cervix at 22 weeks but whose cervix remained closed and who delivered at term. We talked about steroid therapy for lung development and that should we get a positive fFN, we’d administer at that time. We also talked about the proven efficacy of a second round of steroid therapy, should it come to that.

She did not recommend any changes to my activity/lifestyle. She believes the negative physical affects of bed rest, at this point and given my age, far outweigh any unproven benefit. So, I will continue doing what I have been doing which amounts to taking it easy. And, she will continue to monitor me weekly until 30-32 weeks should we make it that far.

The most important part of this particular visit was psychological. As we talked about the managed approach to my care and the ins/out of intervention, I just felt calm, like baby boy and I will get through this. And, while I do NOT want him to arrive any sooner than 37 weeks (and my gut tells me that we have at least a few weeks if not more in utero), I also now feel that whatever happens he will be OK, I will be OK. This represents a significant change to how I felt most of last week. Even though I knew that there was nothing I could do to affect the outcome, I spent more time than I would have liked living with the fear of him being born early. Imagination is a powerful force and I couldn’t help but imagine worst case scenarios. I won’t even share the search criteria I entered (and shouldn’t have) into Google images.

In the oddest of ways, I feel more relaxed now than perhaps at any other point in this pregnancy. I love this little boy, I am grateful beyond measure for the gift of this chance to be pregnant again, and I want to take it all in, enjoy it, be present in each moment. All I have to do is string every moment, each day together, and I will have a complete experience of this pregnancy.

With the exception of getting and staying pregnant with my son, I have never wanted anything more than to usher this baby safely into the world.  I am going to enjoy him and this pregnancy.  It’s the least that I can do and I owe it to him and to myself.

“Pregnancy is a process that invites you to surrender to the unseen force behind all life.”
~Judy Ford

8 comments to MFM Appt, 25w5d

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