Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Visitors

MFM Appt., 31w6d. Settling In.

I saw my MFM for what will be the last time until my c-section on Tuesday.  Both she and the resident in training (who has seen me multiple times with her) were happy that I’d made it to 32 weeks.  I opted not to do the fFN test because, after discussing it at length, decided that if it was positive it wouldn’t change anything so why borrow trouble.  If I were to go in to pre-term labor or if my water were to break before 34 weeks, the treatment of a rescue round of steroids and an attempt to delay delivery would be the same.  After 34 weeks, steroids are no longer an effective treatment and they’d deliver baby boy anyway.

Cervical length remained stable at 1.3cm.  It is so hard to believe that it is holding.

I brought up again my concern about him being frank breech.  Dr. F’s opinion was that he seems to favor this position and, as the pregnancy progresses, he is unlikely to move.  That said, I am completely uncomfortable.  I asked her if there was anything I could do and she said no.  She does not recommend an external version because of the risks.  It feels like he is really struggling in there.  He is stronger all the time and his attempts to right himself verge on being painful.  I was so uncomfortable yesterday that I inverted twice, for an hour each time.  While it may have taken his butt off my cervix, it did nothing to turn or change his position.

Ironically, I also brought up the subject of tubal ligation during my c-section.  I say ironic because I am 46 and heretofore infertile (even with or perhaps because of prior naturally conceived pregnancies).   But, we do not want to have a third child and since I’ll already be having surgery, I see no reason to put my husband through a vasectomy.  And, after all I have done to pump my body full of hormones in pursuit of building our family, I will NOT take any form of hormonal birth control.  She agreed it was a good idea with the caveat if she could get to my tubes (we know there is scar tissue from my last c-section which may make accessing my tubes difficult).  She also said that she does not believe in removing scar tissue (so, nothing like the hour long de-scarring that took place during my last c-section) but if she can get to the tubes, a ligation it is.  And, I have to attend a class within 30 days of delivery in order to be approved for the ligation.  How funny is that?!

I’ve been released to see my local OB every two weeks.  We are 7 weeks from c-section date.  How did I get here?  So much trial, so much worry, so much failure, and such a long road.  I am finally beginning to believe that this is real and that a baby boy is soon to join and complete our family.

Since I don’t have a crafty bone in my body but I do like original and hand made pieces, I decided to commission a piece of art from an Etsy seller.  I was inspired by this art work from CB2 but not the price tag. I looked through the Etsy site and ultimately settled on this. Etsy sellers are great. I contacted her, sent her pictures of the color scheme in our kitchen/dining room and ultimately decided to mail her a tile from the very prevalent tile work in our kitchen so that she could accurately color match it. It took almost 3 weeks for the USPS to deliver the tile (partly due to hurricane Sandy) but she is starting on it today!

I am going to see my therapist today to work through residual feelings of seeing/interacting with my mother at my shower and to see if I can decide what to do re: my birth mother. I feel strongly that things are unresolved with her. I still want a picture of her and the name of my birth father but given how long it has been since our last communication (it’ll be a year in January), I’m not sure how I want to proceed. I have two people who live near my birth mother who I would trust to snap a picture of her but I want to make sure that that is the right path. I’m conflicted about whether to give her a chance to respond to a direct request for the information. It is odd that I feel so strongly about deserving the information but am also wrangling with trying to do the right thing by her. I am sure it is because of the home I was raised in, always navigating my mother’s mine fields, always trying to figure her out, always being put in the position of trying to do the right thing for and by her.  So, here I am again. Funny how the universe works — two mothers who have both put the responsibility on me to figure them out. One thing I know for sure? I will NEVER do that to my son(s).

As it relates to the outcome of our recent election, I will leave you with two of my favorite quotes (one posted by a friend on her FB wall shortly after President Obama’s victory speech and the other by political consultant and Bush-Chaney strategist, Matthew Doud, the following morning at an appearance on The View).

“See, it’s OK to be well spoken and brilliant and have a heart so big that it owns its own greatness…”
~L.H.S

“Republicans are a Mad Men party living in a Modern Family world.”
~Matthew Doud

4 comments to MFM Appt., 31w6d. Settling In.

  • Meg

    If you are open to alternative stuff, it has been reported that moxibustion between the 4th and 5th toes can cause the fetus to flip! Sounds weird but. . .

  • Got here via Stirrup Queens.

    FWIW, my son was persistent frank breech EVERY ultrasound from about 17-32 weeks. At which point he flipped over and stayed that way until delivery. The shift happened between 31 and 32 weeks…

  • Tireegal

    And not abby!!!

  • Tireegal

    Love the quotes!!! Wow, that sentence about the last visit to MFM reads like your c section is Tuesday, which freaked me out. Until I figured it out! Feels good to read that you are in the home stretch abby I really hope that you can find a peaceful way to deal with your family that satisfies you. It’s a sad but very true observation you make about having to figure out both of your mothers. I’ll have to go check out your etsy link next. I must admit I’m curious how it went at the shower with your mom and sister and I hope you were still able to enjoy it. And the positioning of baby boy? My heart goes out to both of you! That sounds just so uncomfortable if not downright excruciating!
    Take care and hang in there!

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