I could no longer take how uncomfortable I was feeling with baby boy in his frank breech position. I read and re-read all the things I could do at home to get him to turn. I read blogs on the subject. Since there was nothing scientific, I had to go with what made the most sense and, for me, that was inverting, multiple times a day for 20 mins+, over several days. FINALLY, on Saturday, when I thought I would cry out of discomfort, he finally kicked his way (which itself was uncomfortable) into a different position. It was instant relief. I began feeling hiccups down by my pubic bone so I thought he might have turned all the way, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was no longer in pain.
My 33w OB appointment today confirmed that he had gotten his legs unwedged from above his head and he was sitting, cross legged, on his butt. He is much more vertical now, with head up by my right ribs, spine down toward my left hip, and butt and legs down by my cervix. It was such a relief to see him like that and, if he decides not to turn head down, I hope he stays this way.
She measured his head and abdomen and he is measuring 34w6d. He is a big boy, just like his brother. Even though I was worried throughout my pregnancy with my son, I was more worried about delivering early than I was about my son’s health. With this baby, given how tight things are in there likely due to the adhesions from my c-section, I have worried constantly about this baby. I’ve worried about the scar tissue restricting his growth and/or physical development. As much as I have worried about my cervix holding, I have worried about him more.
Today his face was oriented forward so we were able to get another good look at him and just to see him, this gift, made me weepy. I cried with gratitude as I left my OBs office and cried my way through the grocery store. To say that I am overwhelmed with gratitude would be an understatement. This may sound very odd, but after my brother’s death and the subsequent deaths of my uncle (at 46) and my grandfather (at 66), I felt like I had paid my “tragedy” dues in this life. Sometime in my 20s and even though I had some health related problems (Grave’s disease, gall bladder disease, shingles), I felt a sort of calm, like I had endured so much that the universe would take care of me. It’s a feeling that I’ve carried with me throughout adulthood and my struggle with infertility. It’s not to say that I never expected to have any more strife, but in terms of cataclysmic tragedies, I felt that I had had more than my share and that somehow, there was a limit to it in one’s life. To be here, 33 weeks pregnant at 46, with a seemingly healthy baby boy through the fantastic gift of donated embryos, it just reduces me to humble tears.
I mentioned the tubal ligation to my OB who completely agreed it was the best move. And, it turns out that the Kaiser location where she works doesn’t require patients to go to a class so she ‘consented’ me today which basically means that if I deliver this baby any time from Saturday on, I can have the ligation (the state of California requires a minimum 72 hour waiting period from signing consents to procedure).
I also found out that the average time in hospital for a c-section is 2 days (day of operation is day o). So, my c-section is scheduled on a Wednesday which means I will likely be home on Friday. That seems a bit overwhelming to me (I had my son on a Tuesday and we went home on Friday, and in hindsight at the time I wish I had stayed until Saturday, and because he had jaundice, I would have been able to). At the same time, there is nothing like being home, in ones own bed with ones own bathroom and all the comforts and routine that being home brings. It will be easier on us where my son is concerned, too.
I see my OB again in 2 weeks, then weekly thereafter until delivery. I gained 5 pounds this week (5, eek!) bringing my weight gain to 33 pounds. I am going to scale back on some indulgences, but it is what it is. This is my last pregnancy and now, because I’ve lost almost 50 pounds before through Weight Watchers and Cardio Barre, I know how to lose it, it will NOT take me 4+ years like it did with my son. Here I am as of a couple of minutes ago:
“I need neither future nor past, but to learn to take today not too fast.”