Just a quick post, finally, to share the joyful news that baby boy and I are home! Daddy is holding him next to me in bed as I type this. While I will post a more detailed account of my delivery, it was straight forward and I am doing much better than I was at this point after my first c-section.
In terms of facts, he was born at 10:25 am on 12/26, weighing 9#5oz and measuring 20.5 inches. He has strawberry blonde peach fuzz and a cherubic face. And, even though I am hopped up on pain meds, I know one thing as surely as I know the sun rises and sets daily and that is the feeling of contentment, the filling of the void, that I’ve long sought. My heart and mind are at peace, free from the tangle of thoughts and worry over whether we’d ever make it to this place that have plagued me for the last 5 1/2 years.
I want to share both his name and a picture but maintaining my anonymity here is important to me. I’m still deciding how I will handle that long term or if my feelings will change down the line. If you are interested in either please email me at email@example.com and I’ll be happy to share.
One of my in real life friends texted me and asked, “how are you doing emotionally?”. My response to him was, ‘profoundly grateful and deeply in love’. And, that about sums it up.
Baby boy has a very sweet disposition and I can stare and marvel at him for long stretches. Of course, my worries were for naught, not that I could have known that going in. I mostly cannot believe that I am here, a mother of two with a newborn in my house. It seriously feels like a dream that is happening to someone else.
As this narcotic is starting to take effect, I should sign-off. I’ve read the same sentence over and over and keep losing my place.