I’m grateful that:
- I knew where to turn when I was struggling to get and stay pregnant.
- I had excellent care and partnership from practitioners, and support and love from friends.
- I stuck with it, even through the heartache of 6 miscarriages and never having even close to an adoption match.
- we had the financial wherewithal to push forward even though we were digging a hole in our savings.
- I learned so much during my pregnancy with my first son that would inform my subsequent pregnancy.
- I received so much wisdom from the on-line community both from blogs and forums.
- my body was physically capable of carrying two pregnancies to term.
- I lost weight and got into good physical shape prior to heading down the pregnancy path with #2 which has made this recovery much easier.
- I envisioned and held on to the idea of the love and contentment I would feel as a mother of two as it propelled me to continue and is my saving grace now.
- there were suitable donated embryos for us to cycle with at a time when I never thought I would cycle again.
- that I picked a good mate. Raising children is hard even under the best of circumstances.
- our family is finally, after 8 years of trying, complete.
I wish that:
- I had not delayed after getting married later in life and started down the path of ART earlier.
- those who are still struggling would have success, sooner rather than later.
- I had established deeper and more committed local female friendships with women who could have been a support to me now.
- I had dealt with my relationship with my parents sooner so that it wouldn’t be this cloud hanging over this otherwise joyous time.
- I had more patience, for myself, for my husband, for my son.
- I had a network of friends who would know to be there for me without me having to ask.
- I had braced myself for how hard it would be, at 46, and with no help from family, to be home mostly alone, day in and day out with a newborn.
- I could just be.
- I was a better mother.
- I knew what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
- I wasn’t feeling so alone.
“Sometimes we expect more from others, because we’d be willing to do much more for them;
and as we grow older we don’t lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are.”