Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"



I’m Grateful… & I Wish…

I’m grateful that:

  • I knew where to turn when I was struggling to get and stay pregnant.
  • I had excellent care and partnership from practitioners, and support and love from friends.
  • I stuck with it, even through the heartache of 6 miscarriages and never having even close to an adoption match.
  • we had the financial wherewithal to push forward even though we were digging a hole in our savings.
  • I learned so much during my pregnancy with my first son that would inform my subsequent pregnancy.
  • I received so much wisdom from the on-line community both from blogs and forums.
  • my body was physically capable of carrying two pregnancies to term.
  • I lost weight and got into good physical shape prior to heading down the pregnancy path with #2 which has made this recovery much easier.
  • I envisioned and held on to  the idea of the love and contentment I would feel as a mother of two as it propelled me to continue and is my saving grace now.
  • there were suitable donated embryos for us to cycle with at a time when I never thought I would cycle again.
  • that I picked a good mate.  Raising children is hard even under the best of circumstances.
  • our family is finally, after 8 years of trying, complete.

I wish that:

  • I had not delayed after getting married later in life and started down the path of ART earlier.
  • those who are still struggling would have success, sooner rather than later.
  • I had established deeper and more committed local female friendships with women who could have been a support to me now.
  • I had dealt with my relationship with my parents sooner so that it wouldn’t be this cloud hanging over this otherwise joyous time.
  • I had more patience, for myself, for my husband, for my son.
  • I had a network of friends who would know to be there for me without me having to ask.
  • I had braced myself for how hard it would be, at 46, and with no help from family, to be home mostly alone, day in and day out with a newborn.
  • I could just be.
  • I was a better mother.
  • I knew what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
  • I wasn’t feeling so alone.

“Sometimes we expect more from others, because we’d be willing to do much more for them;
and as we grow older we don’t lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are.”

5 comments to I’m Grateful… & I Wish…

  • I too, worry about my lack of “real life” support. Lots of hugs to you!

  • If you have any spare cash at all, please consider hiring a bit of help. Stay at home motherhood can be terribly isolating. There is no award at the end of motherhood for having the least help (paid or unpaid).

    Having a regular sitter so you can get out and exercise, see friends, catch a movie or do whatever makes you happy will benefit your entire family.

    I believe strongly that happy moms make happy kids.Good luck and hang in there!

  • Sarah

    I could have written many of these bullet points myself. It so hard to deal
    With the “what now” aspect of life after IF. It takes up
    Such room, it’s as if it has it’s own corner in the post birth let down of defenses.
    I wish we’re closer–I’d behappyto drop in and hold your wee babe and give you a good laugh and a break. ((((hugs))))

  • Be kind to yourself.

    And love and hugs and wishes that I lived on the other side of the US so I could come by and help out, too.


  • Anna

    It sounds like you are in a good place and you have accomplished some wonderful things. The sleep and the lifting fog of newborn-ness will bring your energy and patience to accomplish some of your wishes, I think that the self-awareness and insight that allows you to recognise these things help you to be a good mother, we all wish we were better at times but I’m guessing that when you’re through that 4th trimester you will be unstoppable.x

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