Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"



WWYD #4 – Infant Schedule

Ugh! I went so wrong by not imposing a schedule on Baby G from day one. Now, at almost 10 weeks, as we try to, his overnight sleep is getting worse. I got such an awesome email from BWUB+3 when I posted to her blog asking for the sleep schedule with her 6 month old twins that it got me to thinking that others may also have advice.

I checked out BabyWise from the library yesterday. I have not had a chance to even crack the binding, but fully intend to, even though I know we are late to that game even if I wanted to do it.

My issue is that we’ve now created habits that need to be broken in order to establish the feeding/sleeping routine we want him to have. And, while he is a happy, calm baby when he’s rested and fed, believe me when I say it is almost impossible to distract or calm him when he is hungry. As I’ve said here before, he is food driven, so once his tank is nearing or is empty he ratchets to hysterical crying quickly until he’s fed.

So, here is the deal and I will take any and all advice from experienced mothers. He is 14#4oz as of yesterday. From week two – week 8 of life, he had 4 oz of breast milk/formula almost every 3 hrs (so 32 oz/day). His longest sleep is from 6 – 11PM (and that’s because he was taking catnaps or only one short nap in the afternoon, which resulted in him consuming 9 oz in a 3-4 hr period, thus setting him up for a nice long sleep. I only realized this in hindsight, of course).

The post partum doula suggested that the long early evening sleep was part of the problem causing less sleep overnight. She recommended trying to treat the early part of that sleep like a nap, waking him after 2 -3 hours, feeding him a 5-6 oz bottle (in preparation for overnight sleep) and keeping him awake for an hour. We’ve tried that over the last 3 nights, but he is nearly impossible to really rouse from this sleep and even though he’ll finish the bottle he will not wake up (and we’ve tried cold water compresses, holding him upright, blowing on his face, etc.).

We haven’t benefited in gaining any longer overnight sleep, in fact, the opposite seems to have happened where he now wakes 3 1/2 – 4 hrs later, which is 1:45-2:30 in the morning, and thinks that is the beginning of the day (this morning, he woke at 1:45, fed, and didn’t go back down til 3:30, then woke again at 5:30 to feed). And, believe me, we really try to keep him asleep or stall his waking but there is no doing so (or maybe we get 15 mins). Then, he took a cat nap from 5:45 – 6:15 and was up for the day (although he didn’t eat again today until 8AM).

This is just not going to work but I am at a loss as to which adjustments to make now that we’ve established some habits. Generally, I think he needs to eat a bit more during the day and maybe an increase of an oz with two of the overnight feedings. I now try to stretch him to 4 hours between feedings during the day, but even that hasn’t helped us gain any time overnight.

So, I want the day to look like:

  • 7 AM wake/feed
  • Nap #1
  • 10/11 AM feed
  • Nap #2
  • 2/3 PM feed
  • Nap #3
  • 6/7 PM feed (right now he is fast asleep by now)
  • Nap #4
  • 10/11PM feed
  • Ovenight sleep from 10/11 – 7 (this is the goal, baby steps to get there, I know)

Right now, I have three additional feedings (one in the afternoon because he naps less and is hungry) and two overnight (one between 1-2 and another around 4:30-5:30.  Basically, he is back to eating every 3 hrs overnight).

I’ve emailed all this to the doula and I do have two sleep books to read.  I am just not sure what the best approach is.  Should I return to feeding every 3 hours during the day to increase his volume a bit and then still give a larger bottle just before when I want his overnight sleep to be?  What do I do about the 4-5 hour sleep he takes from 5/6 – 10/11?  And, when he wakes before 7 but after another overnight feeding do I just give him a  3oz bottle as I have been?

We are working on establishing a night time routine that is different from daytime, but his last feeding now is late  and the one before is where we’ve been waking him up, so there’s no ability to work a routine.  He definitely knows that putting on a bib means food’s coming and being swaddled means sleep’s coming.  We give him an evening bath every other to every 3 days.  Because he is swaddled he usually sleeps in the same onesie he wore during the day (with our older son, we would change him into a sleep sack while changing his diaper and that was part of his bedtime routine.  Because he was awake, we’d read a story, too, something we definitely want to implement with Baby G).

I feel like I sound desperate and maybe I am if only because I think we created the situation we are in and I don’t have the experience to know how to best go about changing it without making bigger problems.  His temperament definitely plays a part as I cannot take his hysterical crying/screaming when we delay feeding by too long (and that can sometimes mean less than 5 mins).  I want to feed him and put him down NOT when he is already past the point of no return.

As of this writing, he last ate 5 oz at 8 AM (after being awake since 6:20 with the prior 3 oz feeding at 5:30 (I didn’t want to give him a full bottle and have him sleep late into the day (as if that would happen))) and went down at 9 AM.  It’s 11:45 and he’ll be waking soon.  His next feeding would then be at noon, which is 4 hrs from his last feeding.  Now, this afternoon’s nap won’t be nearly as long and it is hard to get him to take 2 naps in the afternoon.


4 comments to WWYD #4 – Infant Schedule

  • […] WWYD – Infant Schedule » The Trunk As a little girl, I remember being in my mother’s dressing room with […]

  • It is not too late to set schedules, it is never too late.
    What we did was trying to adapt the newborn’s schedule around the toddler’s, at least so far as night and morning routines were concerned. We still do this, with various degrees of success, sometimes they both go to bed at the same time, around 7.30, sometimes the baby has to go to sleep earlier, and then we divide and conquer, I take care of the baby and my husband of the toddler. As the baby got older, he started being interested in the toddler, and this is how we usually keep him awake until 7ish. He is absolutely fascinated by his big brother…
    The 3h feeding schedule sounds ok for now. Whatever you start doing though, you have to be consistent and keep doing it for at least three days to see if it works or not.
    Best of luck.

  • Heather

    Couple thoughts…You are not late to start babywise or even close…we didn’t start til my daughter was close to 9 months! And most wouldnt even say we did Babywise I just liked the schedule idea but your def not late. Also 10 weeks old you are very much in the majority that he isn’t sleeping through the night…its rare for a 10 week old to sleep thru the night. I would recommend keeping up with the 3 hour feeding schedule and most certianly wake him up during the day to stay on track with those 3 hrs…so if you want him eating 4-5 oz at 7-10-1-4-7 then dream feed him right before you all go to bed ( or the last on eto sleep feed him but IN HIS SLEEP dont really rouse him to wake him as this feeding will be between 10-11pm when you or your hubs go to bed. Along these lines what REALLY worked for our son was decreasing hi snight feedings…so if he would wake up we would only give him like 2 oz paci then back to bed. then maybe 1 oz paci and back to sleep. He knew even if he woke at night he wasnt going to get a full feeding so he stopd waking for them…then we gave him just paci’s if he would wake…Because he was clearly eating enough during the day ( on the 3 hour schedule) I knew his night waking wasnt a need to eat but instead a habit. Also when you do feed at night what environment do you do it in? We messed up with my daughter by taking her out of her room holding her while we made the bottle having lights on etc…what changed with our son was we would make the bottle before even getting him then we would do everything practically in the pitch black dark or as dark as possible. Change diaper, reswaddle , then in babies room sill in the very very dark feed give paci and go right back down. And yes establish that routine of changing himinto jammies and swaddle so he equates jammies swaddle bedtime…also if you have like a souns machine that you only turn on at sleep time as well. Reading your last paragraph we def had a phase that my son wante dto eat every 2 hours and thats ok too I would try to make him go at least 230 between feedings and try to distract with a pacifier but let him go no longer that 3 hours that way you wont get breaks anywhere between 2-5 hours…

    For us my daughter was 9 months before sleeping thru the night…we learned after she alreadt slept thru the night all the things we should have done different…with my son it took about 8weeks. Part luck but I also like to think the changes we made in his night routine compared to our daughters and I know it helped make a big difference and we never had to let him cry it out either….

    Hope some of this can help!

  • Paula

    Hi! I used an excellent book for both my daughter and my twins – it is called Baby Sense and there is a Sleep Sense one too. It is written by OT’s and child specialists and is very easy and simple re routines ect. I would highly recommend it. The only thing is it is South African, not sure if it is available overseas but i think it is – they do have a Facebook page so perhaps check it out? It really made all the difference to us – I had a similar problem with my eldest as I was clueless as to schedules act until I found this book when seh was already a few weeks old. It was still relatively easy to get her back on track with it and with the twins I started as soon as they came home. Them being on a easily maintained schedule was the only thing that saved my sanity back then! Good luck!

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