I’ve been without a block of time to write, with the exception of the NIAW post but have things I want to say.
We are >< close to finalizing the application process in order to change elementary schools for our older son. It has been more stressful than I planned. Not so much the worry about getting in as keeping the process under wraps from his current school until we were ready to share. But, after touring the school, submitting an application, having our son visit the kindergarten class and complete some worksheets, once his transcripts and 2 teacher recommendations are received, we should be good to go. The latter required me to notify the school of our intentions which, while hard, brought some relief. At least it’s all out in the open. I hadn’t mentioned our plans to any of our friends at his current school. A) I didn’t want anyone to know and B) I didn’t really want anyone to try to talk us into staying. However, on my way out of the school office after informing them, I bumped smack into K who I haven’t seen in some time since my husband has been doing drop off/pick up. It caught me off guard, as it did her, and when she asked where I’d just come from or what I was doing (I really can’t recall what she prompted me with) all I could say (in a tone way too morose for how I was feeling) was “we’re leaving”. My tone must have conveyed specifically what I meant because she was shocked and puzzled. I gave a brief explanation as to the reasons why (we wanted a K-8 experience in a private, secular environment) and that seemed to suffice. It didn’t occur to me to tell her not to say anything because, oh, I don’t know, you’d think it would be understood that it was my news to share in my own time. So imagine my anger when I’d barely walked in the door and received a text from a mutual friend along the lines of ‘what’s this I hear about you leaving the school?’. I was just pissed…pissed at myself for playing my hand sooner than I wanted, pissed that I expected she’d have enough respect to let me share the news or at least ask me if it was OK to do so prior to doing so, pissed that now I felt compelled to answer something I didn’t want shared in the first place. Whatever, I seriously can’t wait to be gone and to start anew. My post pregnancy weight is a huge issue for me now. I seem to have settled at 5# less than the weight I was prior to joining WW. Not only that, but this pregnancy caused my upper abdomen to distend (I’m not talking about belly flab or a muffin top) and so I look very thick when viewed from the side. It is quite disconcerting as no matter how heavy I’ve been in my life, my stomach was always flat. Really, if you didn’t know, you might think I was pregnant (or still pregnant). It is freaking me out! I’ve begun to work out again, although not consistently enough. And, I absolutely know that for me, daily/weekly caloric intake is far more important to my weight loss than exercise. I need to get my eating under control but, at 4 months post-partum, lack the discipline required to do so. That leads to an endless loop of self-flagellation. If you’ve tried to muster the commitment to lose weight, you likely know what I mean. Ugh. Baby G turned 4 months on Friday. FOUR MONTHS! I already miss my newborn. We have settled into a better routine sleep wise, but he is still waking twice per night to feed (12:30ish & 4:30ish). At his well baby exam this morning he was 18.3#, 26.5″ with a 44.5cm head. All 97%tile, all on the same curve he’s been on. The pedi recommended waking him at 11/11:30PM to see if we could get him to go from 12-6AM without a feeding. We’ll see. We started adding a bit of rice cereal to his formula a few weeks ago to help with spit-up (sometimes it helps, sometimes not) which has caused him to poop less frequently and to strain when he does. We’re going to add some apple/prune juice to his diet and see if that helps (we did the exact same thing with our older son at exactly the same time and I remember it helping immensely). She said we could start solids any time but we’ll wait until he is sitting up on his own. She is happy with his progress, commented on his perfectly symmetrical head, and his otherwise happy disposition. I’m still trying to track down my birth father. I transcribed all the name of the seniors at the high school my birth mother went to over an 8 year period when my birth father and his siblings may have also been there. I sorted by last name and they are grouped by year so I was able to see if we had the proper gender birth order. I now need to cross check the possibilities against their pictures to see if any resemble me. None of these sibling sets had Italian last names so my thinking is that they didn’t go to this high school. Not sure what my next move will be but it is going to have to involve my birth mother as she is the only soul who knows his name. I’ve had no recent contact with anyone in my family. It’s been very peaceful. Days go by when I don’t even think of them. I know that must seem so odd to people who have good/close relationships with their families, but that just isn’t my experience. I’m going to a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres show tomorrow. I’ve always liked her show, it is a happy, fun, and uplifting hour. Looking forward to seeing who the guests are!