Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"




Life has returned to its normal patter and even though the weather here has been drizzling and dreary for days (and so unseasonal!), moods have been good, fun has been had, life has been good.

The adoption firm we are working with is launching a new website geared solely toward birth mothers. Their current company site is a one stop for all, birth mothers and prospective adoptive parents alike. This new site will have pregnancy related info and tips, a pregnancy planner, as well as a wealth of other birth mother related resource information. It will also include e-booklets of prospective adoptive couples.

Our caseworker sent us an email many weeks ago indicating that if we’d like to be included in the new site, the deadline for text and photo submission was 10/20/10. Other than consider it, ruminate over it, and otherwise procrastinate, we hadn’t written one word or identified one photo. If we missed the deadline, there would be no future opportunity to be part of the new site (I’m not sure why that is).

In my head, I thought the deadline was 10/22 and even still all I was doing was stressing about whether to even attempt to make the deadline. I mean, it seemed laughable to even try given all the effort it was likely going to take. However, what exposure to potential birth mothers would we be giving up by not even trying? I decided yesterday to open the instructions for submission and was stopped in my tracks when I read that the deadline is actually today! I immediately corresponded with our caseworker (who is aware of our life circumstances of late) who said as long as we had everything to her by Tuesday, we’d be OK. PHEW!

Because our anniversary party is this weekend and we have friends/family coming in from out of town, I knew our only hope of getting it in was to work on it RIGHT then. There is nothing like an urgent deadline to motivate me; I work well under pressure. So, I spent the day yesterday going through hundreds of photos trying to narrow it down to a manageable pool that we could select the 21 photos from, keeping in mind not to have too many of the three of us or of our son (wouldn’t want to give the impression that we are a happily complete family of three!). I began working on the text in the early evening and passed it over to my husband to review and write his section. We then matched photos to each section, and voila, by 1 a.m. we had a pretty good draft.

I spent this morning revising and consolidating text, and removing and rearranging pictures. I sent it to close friends to review and finally, at the end of the day, to our caseworker for her feedback. My goal is to have the final version to her by Friday.

There are still many, many more steps in this process, but having to meet this deadline (or miss an opportunity) forced me to get my thoughts together. And, this will form the foundation of our birth mother letter/profile. The process seems more organized now because our profile was the biggest hurdle. I feel like we can take the content from the e-booklet, expand upon it, add additional photos, format and print it and it will be done! It finally feels like we are making progress.

And, in sitting down to actually write the text and select photos, I felt the stirrings of excitement (instead of the usual dread) beginning to take hold. While I am still uncomfortable with the uncertainty of the process, it is a means to a (glorious) end. After so many years of trying and failing to have another child, and never being able to wrap my heart around not having another, I have given myself over to this process. The child we are meant to have will find us.

Last night I stood out on our back porch in the moonlight and light drizzle and actually felt hopeful. Where would we be without hope?

2 comments to Progress

  • Joannah

    I love that – “Where would we be without hope?” I think you’ve got lots to be hopeful about. The adoption process is daunting, but I know so many families that are complete as a result of the journey. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together for you!

  • Sue

    That is just terrific. I’m so glad to hear that progress has been made and that you’re feeling hopeful!

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