Oh.my.word! This has been THE worst season of sick in all my time as a mother. It started with the stomach flu (possibly norovirus) that hit the baby, my older son, and my husband. We’d barely recovered from that when my older son got the actual flu, spiked a 104 degree fever (the highest in his young life) necessitating a trip to the ER. Even with alternating Motrin and Tylenol consistently, his temperature hovered around 102 for four days. I have never seen him that sick, that listless, that unlike himself. It didn’t help that California has had 95 confirmed flu related deaths this season, three of which were children under age 10 and all of which were people under 65 and that there are 60 deaths under investigation. While I haven’t historically believed in the flu vaccine, my older son was the only one of us that didn’t get vaccinated this year and I can’t bear to ever see him that sick again if the vaccine might lessen the symptoms or duration.
He hadn’t even been recovered from the flu for a week when he was hit with another stomach bug. He threw up 4 times between 2-3 AM Sunday. That was followed by diarrhea, another first for him. He had a number of accidents yesterday, not knowing how quickly he needed to get to the bathroom, something that has never happened since he was potty trained at age 3. Then, overnight, he had an ‘episode’ in his sleep, slept in it for several hours, woke up horrified at 2 this morning and it took my husband and I an hour to clean him up, his clothes, his bed, the bathroom. I kept him home from school today so that he wouldn’t suffer the embarrassment of having an accident at school even though he otherwise seems fine.
The weather here has been beautiful, in the high 70s with sunny, clear blue skies. This is NOT what we need, not by a long shot, we need sustained rain, but since that is not within my control, I will gladly take the sunshine as it helps my mood in measurable ways.
My weight loss has plateaued. Given the many weeks of sick, I haven’t had the time to track what I’m eating much less plan and prepare meals. Meals have mostly been catch as catch can. I think I’ve gained one pound and it makes me miserable, but I can only do what I can do. I’m not binge eating or eating poorly, just eating too much when I do eat or not enough of the right things. I am very mindful though which I think has gone a long way toward me not packing the weight back on. And, I am working out which is my salvation.
I am still trying to make headway on finding my birth father. A friend (whose mother placed her sister for adoption) hooked me up with someone who suggested posting my information to a site that then broadcasts it to Search Angels (volunteers in states across the country who help reunite folks for free). It seems daunting to me and I feel very vulnerable and exposed. As Sarah commented on my prior post, I do need someone to act as an intermediary and titrate the information and act as a buffer so I can feel protected as I process it. I’m leery of the whole ‘search angel’ concept but think it might be a good first step.
I’m trying to do some consulting work for my former employer. I finished one project and am on to the next but the second is the recruitment of a manager for one of their branches and I only get paid if I surface the candidate. It has been very hard to find time to work in between all the sick and even though I’ve reached out to about 50 prospective candidates, I haven’t had one bite.
I want to write an entire post dedicated to the subtle shift I see happening in life, the shift from weddings and baby showers to funerals. I want to write a post on ‘should’ parenting. I want to write a post on the metallic taste I started having in my mouth a week ago and how its morphed into this sweetish-medicinal taste that is driving me nuts and I am sure is indicative of some dreaded disease. I want to write on having no libido, none, and the lack of sex in my marriage and what to do about it. I want to and hopefully I will. I would like to return to my regularly scheduled programming.