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Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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House of Cards

My husband and I have been together for 14 years. We met at work when I was a VP in California and he worked in IT at our HQ in New Jersey. Our early relationship was long distance with him coming out to visit and staying with me for long 3, 4 and 5 day weekends. Four months in, he quit his job, packed up and moved west.

I worked a lot in those days, typically 60 hour or more weeks. One of the ways we bonded was over our shared interest in some TV shows. We marked our early relationship watching the Sopranos, Survivor, the Amazing Race, and Six Feet Under together. It was what we did. I’d either make dinner of we’d order in and we’d snuggle up and watch things together. We were unencumbered by children and there wasn’t DVR or binge watching back then, so many of our “dates” revolved around when one of our shows was on.

We continued this throughout our relationship and our marriage. We watched all of the Sopranos. We watched every season of Survivor through season 24, and still watch every season of the Amazing Race. However, when the Sopranos and Six Feet Under ended, our tastes began to diverge, with me watching more reality TV and my husband watching more suspense/horror shows (Dexter (although we did watch the first two seasons together), Deadwood, Walking Dead, Game of Thrones). Other than the Amazing Race, we watched almost no TV together.

I like being with my husband and especially watching TV together. It has always felt nice, warm, loving, us. So, when I wrote this post, it occurred to me that one of the ways we used to connect (that often led to intimate moments) was by enjoying each others company over our shared interest in a TV show and that that, too, had been missing for some time.

It probably dates back to after our older son was born. My tolerance for violence and suspense plummeted. The love I had for my son and for being a mother broke me wide open and my emotions, from then on, ran just below the surface. I could no longer stomach to watch what once didn’t bother me. And, after becoming a mother, my sleeping habits changed significantly and I was hard-pressed to still be awake at 9 (when most of our shows came on), much less 10 PM. Add to that the dearth of series to fill the void left by exiting shows like the Sopranos and Six Feet Under and it was a recipe for little joint TV watching in our house.

I’d been wondering how to bridge the gap, to begin to repair the lack of intimacy in our relationship and I knew we had to start watching TV together again if only to put us both in our bed at the same time, awake. Enter True Detective and House of Cards. We started seeing trailers for True Detective independent of each other, both thinking it was something we might enjoy watching together. Easily, Sunday nights once again became a date night at home.

But, what really cemented things was subscribing to Netflix again so that we could jump on the critically and socially acclaimed House of Cards wagon to see what all the hub-bub was all about. And, we were NOT disappointed. We LOVE HoC. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. So much so, that we binge watched both seasons, back-to-back, all 26 episodes, in six days. We watched well into the wee hours of the morning (1-2 AM), and during Baby G’s naps when our older son was otherwise occupied.

I credit House of Cards with reestablishing our romantic relationship. Not only were we spending a LOT of time together (more uninterrupted time than since before we had kids), but we were cuddling and talking and dissecting the plot and sub-plots and character development and playing scenarios out in the ‘no way it would have gone down like that’ kind of way. Being together and engaged, well, riveted really, so much has brought us full circle, back to who we are as a couple andthat we enjoy each others company.

We are eagerly anticipating season 3 of HoC as well as the wrap-up, this Sunday, of True Detective. A new season of Amazing Race is underway and we’re talking about whether to watch Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, or Scandal on Netflix.

It makes me so happy to spend time together, without the stresses and responsibilities of parenting and bill paying and making family plans and scheduling activities for our kids and shuttling them here and there or running myriad errands. Without the benefit of family nearby to watch the kids, we rarely get out together alone. This really is the next best thing (notice I said next).

House of Cards almost single-handedly, revitalized our relationship.

7 comments to House of Cards

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  • Yay! Good news is such a wonderful thing… :-)

  • I love how HoC was a reconnecting mechanism for you!

    (And I adored Six Feet Under.)

  • ana

    I’m preaching HoC to anyone that will listen, its such a great show on so many levels, and universally loved by all the men AND women I’ve talked about it with! Cannot wait for season 3! Unfortunately for us, my husband takes whatever extra hours I can stay up and then raises a couple so we never do end up going to bed the same time.
    Definitely try Orange is the New Black. I loved it (though I don’t think my husband loved it as much) and season 2 is coming soon. I can definitely remember certain seasons in our life by the TV series we were watching at the time! I’m still nostalgic for the time we watched The Wire, it was when I was pregnant with my first son, and we moved into our house. I cried when that ended. I haven’t gotten around to Breaking Bad yet. Someday.

  • Xobb

    Both of you are terrific company, witty conversationalists and filled with interesting insights–so happy you are enjoying connecting. Xo

  • M

    I’m so happy you found this out and are doing well. I’m hoping to do the same thing shortly. I’ll have to check out HoC – sounds intriguing.

  • I have yet to give House of Cards a try, but you certainly have me intrigued! I LOVE True Detective- it’s so intense! I loved Orange is The New Black- I binge watched it when I had pneumonia… And Breaking Bad is my favourite show EVER (I cried when it ended!).

    Can you tell that watching TV is a bonding experience for Hubby and I, too? Because of our work schedules, we don’t get much alone time together. When we do manage to carve out some time together, we usually have a couple of our favourite shows waiting for us on the DVR. I love the ritual of it all. :)

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