Thank goodness, once again, for this space, as I have almost no one in real life to share this with. This is the response I got to my email to my husband’s possible birth mother:
Hello,
It is a possibility. What questions do you have?
I never thought I would be contacted since I gave him to be adopted. I didn’t have the means to raise him and wanted him to be with a family who would love him and give him everything I couldn’t. If you have a baby photo, I would know if it was him.
Sincerely,
B
I responded with:
Good Morning:
Thank you so much for your response and I am sorry if this caught you off guard. My intention in contacting you on behalf of my husband is purely from a place of compassion and interest in getting family/medical history. I want you to know that if it is him, he was raised in a loving family in New Jersey and had a happy childhood.
His adoption information also included his original birth name which I hope you might remember. I have included a picture of him as an infant. If you believe that this is the right person, can you confirm for me his given name at birth then we will both know we have a match?
Again, please know that he harbors no animosity. I am only reaching out as an advocate for him and our children. We both had loving childhoods. I am sure you can understand, now that we have children, how important it is for us that they have the information about their genetic families that we have been missing all these years.
Warm regards.
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That’s so amazing. I wish it could be so easy with your own birth mother. At least it looks like you’ll get information from one side of the family.
So excited!!! You are awesome!
How exciting!
Chills down both arms. Ooooh, and chills again. That is AMAZING. I hope she writes back soon with his name.
Wow. Good notes on both sides–keeping fingers crossed that things progress smoothly and everyone feels safe through this process of revealing! Nicely handled!
Wow — how exciting!
Can’t wait to see how this progresses…
Wow! This is so exciting! Best of luck.
Wow!! That is great!
Beautiful reply!!! Very nicely put and not threatening at all. I guess she believed what they told her all these years ago that adoption was closed and that was it?! As it was but is no more! If it were me receiving that letter and I was freaking out I might want to know ( maybe in the next correspondance) that my bio son was also interested in knowing ME if at all possible. And having even a very very minimal relationship at the very least so it’s not just, give us the facts, ma’am and we will be on our way. I know you don’t want to scare her into thinking you are all going to appear on her door step. And she might have not told anyone in her life so she’s worried about all those ramifications. But I guess if you show concern for her and how she is doing that would be great in a future letter. Just my thoughtful two cents.
I have to say I am super impressed that you got this far and you have an answer ( well almost!) I hope this works out really well for all concerned:)