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Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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We’re Melting

It is going to be 102 degrees here today and warmer tomorrow. This is record breaking heat even for Southern California for mid-May. We’ve determined that G gets a heat rash (legs, arms, torso) when the temperatures get over 90 degrees which they have been on/off since April. I’m still not sure what the most effective treatment is other than prevention, but keeping a roaming toddler indoors is challenging.

Open House was a non-event. While I never heard from my parents either way as to whether they planned to attend, as we were about to leave, we found my dad in my son’s classroom. My mom wasn’t ‘feeling well’. Fine, whatever. H was proud his grandfather was there and in all his earnestness gave him a big hug which caught my otherwise affectionate-less father off guard.

I’ve heard nothing from my birth mother. She received the letter on May 2nd and her average response time is 3 weeks, so, I expect that if I am going to hear from her it will be by the end of next week. In thinking more about her unwillingness to provide me my birth father’s name, I wondered if there was legal precedent to compel her to give it to me. My friend who is an attorney in CA suggested I contact a family law attorney in MA which I’m in the process of doing (if anyone knows anyone, let me know). My on-line research on the topic hasn’t yielded any concrete results. I contacted the adoption attorney here in CA that we were using during our adoption process just to see what he thinks. We’ll see.

There is always a pall over my own Mother’s Day because of the situation with my own mother. I did have a lovely day (early family breakfast out followed by a morning nap; my husband and older son did a couple of home improvement projects; I went to the movies with my older son; my husband made Benihana-inspired garlic butter rice with chicken for dinner and we had indoor s’mores for dessert). It was a fine day marred only by how it makes me feel to have 0:2 living mothers to celebrate.

My husband decided to email his birth mother on Mother’s Day. In addition to sending me and my mother-in-law a Mother’s Day email (which was sweet), she emailed me the following morning practically overcome with emotion that he’d reached out to her directly. She said she would respond once she’d composed herself but it’s Wednesday and no response to him (or me). It’s odd given her rapid response time to date, but maybe she really never thought the day would come where he’d be in touch with her. The longer she waits, though, the more uneasy it makes my husband feel given how quickly she’s responded otherwise.

G was up at 4:45 this morning which means I was, too. He’s napping and I am going to try to grab a quick nap myself before he wakes and we have to head out in search of something cool to do.

7 comments to We’re Melting

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  • YUCK to that temperature. I hope you have some cool treats in the house to survive this heat wave! (And I wish we could send you some milder Seattle air.)

    I hope that you hear back from your birth mother soon, as does C. And, if not, I hope there is something you can do legally to gain that information (but keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t come down to that).

    Waiting with you. xo

  • I’m a lawyer–though not in either California or in Massachusetts–and I’m having a difficult time envisioning how a court would compel your birth mother to disclose the identity of your birth father. The court could issue an order, if the law of that state permitted it to do so. . . but what if she disobeyed? What then? Would the court throw an old woman in jail for contempt?

    I realize you want this information badly and that you feel strongly that you are entitled to it–and I don’t disagree–but I just can’t see, practically speaking, how getting a court order compelling her to disclose it is going to get you anywhere, when your direct pleas to her to provide the information have not.

    Just my $.02.

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