Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"



Tuesday Tidbits

Thank you for your comments regarding birth control.  One of the reasons I love this space so much is that those who are inclined to comment have the opportunity to change my life.  Do you know that it never occurred to me that my husband could have a vasectomy?  Never, in our 15 years together had we ever discussed it, even in passing.  And, not for any good reason, it just never came up.  So, I asked him if he would consider it, and of course he would, so he has a consult set up for the end of this month.

And, it can’t come soon enough because I began thinking that I might be pregnant.  From some mid-cycle spotting (implantation bleeding I reasoned) to uterine cramping and twinges to the same sort of uterine heaviness I felt early on in my pregnancies, I was sure that I must be.  I started to panic a bit (in the oh-my-gawd-this-cant-be-happening) kind of way.  I had visions of posting a positive HPT here.  I scoured our bathroom thinking there must be one HPT in this house.  So, even though my period isn’t late yet, I did go out and buy a box of 3, the first of which is decidedly snow white.  I am relieved, to say the least and now the pendulum has swung in the completely opposite direction where of course I’m not pregnant and how could I have even thought it.  (We all know the cycle of “am I?” “no, I’m not” that comes with ART and in the 19 mos that G has been alive, I’ve never ever thought I was.  How easy to fall back into old patterns.)

I didn’t report here that I had another bout of pericarditis.  It came on suddenly (as in, I took a short afternoon nap and woke up with it) about a month ago.  And, with it, I’d become a “case” of a different sort as pericarditis is rare enough in women but it’s even rarer that it would recur and rarer still that it would recur 3 mos after my last bout.  There was much discussion and consultation, again, and this time with the head of cardiology.  It is caused by a virus.  My pericadium is vulnerable now.  There isn’t anything to be done to prevent it, per se, except be vigilant in not coming down with viruses in the first place.  However, we have come up with a better treatment plan should it recur again (and that is likely).

I had two lingering questions: 1-does the recurrence of this increase my risk for heart attack? No. And, 2-is there any reason to believe that this recurrent condition would affect my life expectancy? No.  It was hard to have to think of such things as a vibrant 48 yr old woman and mother to two young children, but they wore heavy on me and had to be asked.

I had another break-through in EMDR therapy.  We were discussing when, in considering flying now, do I begin to get anxious.  And, just the thought of saying good-bye to my husband and kids (whether it be here at the house or at the airport) brought me to tears.  So, we did some work around that and what I discovered was that my concern wasn’t that I was going to die on this trip it was that my husband was going to have to manage all facets of life at home with our two sons when I was gone and I was worried about that.  Not that I don’t trust him or that he’s not an attentive father but that to this point he’s never been home alone with both boys, needing to manage their complete care for more than a 2-3 hr window, ever.  And, all these hot car deaths had gotten into my psyche and I could see how easily he could become distracted and leave G in the car (or something equally disastrous).  Once we’d identified the source of my anxiety, I knew that one way to alleviate it would be to make sure he has some help when I am gone.  And, of course, I talked to him about it.  Not in an accusatory way at all, but that it was feeding into my anxiety.  He, of course, assured me that he wasn’t concerned about it in the least, but if making sure he had some help made me feel better, OK.  One of the many reasons I love my husband (did I mention the vasectomy?)

I have therapy again this week, but I can honestly say, without any anxiety, that I am going to be able to make this trip in October, by myself, on a plane.  I just know I am.  I’m not there, yet, but I am closer than I have ever been.  And, this is HUGE as this phobia has afflicted and shackled me for almost 3 decades!  It has stymied many a trip and caused me unnecessary tears, hysterics, and histrionics.  Other than pursuing all options for having a second child, this will be the biggest gift I’ve ever given myself.  You.have.no.idea.

Finally, I am embarking on an entirely new eating life style.  I can’t even recall how I came upon this plan, but I did. I was intrigued enough by stories of weight loss successes and improvements in overall health that I joined a FB group and lurked for a year.  I didn’t want to actually buy the book or implement the plan because there is an underlying Christian component and nothing turns me off more than bible banging.  Yet, I still read and lurked and wondered how the plan worked (and it did, for all manner of people, at all ages, with all sorts of underlying and chronic health conditions and it seemed a livable plan if I could only understand it which required me to buy a $35 , 610! page book, which I did, but not until after reaching out directly to one of the authors (sisters) to feel out whether a non-religious woman could embrace the plan and be embraced by the community. She wrote me back almost immediately and I was so touched by her response that I decided to go for it).  

As this post is long enough as it is, I’ll link to the plan here and follow-up again as I continue to implement its practices. It is involved and includes a bit of food combining (not in the 1980s way) but I think the premise is spot on: eliminate refined sugar and simple carbohydrates, eat every three hours, have protein at every meal, and vary the fuel source, whether it be complex carbohydrates or fats but don’t eat protein/carbohydrates/and fats together and definitely not carbs/fats together alone, try not to spike your blood sugar as to keep insulin stable. There are dozens of recipes in the book and literally thousands on Pinterest and blogs along with meal plans.

I do find some irony in an atheist doing a Christian eating plan, but, that’s life.

14 comments to Tuesday Tidbits

  • I desperately need to kick the sugar habit – and I’m looking for ways to beat the cravings! I just checked out the page as I’m looking for ways to change my evil ways! Glad hubby is going to get a vasectomy. It’s amazing how much women put their bodies through for birth control and fertility and infertility and all men have to do it either go in a cup of get a snip.

    • It’s spooky how clever some ppl are. Thsank!

    • I always wondered what ethnicity the Romans were.I think they were regular White folks who ruled Rome,because they never look Italian to me.Rome might have been a “Great City” not a “Italian City”-I see more Italians in Atlantic City,NJ than I do in Roman Pictures.Also many of the early Mediterraneans were regular Scandinavian people,weren’t they ?-I’ve noticed from pictures that they always look just like regular White people or sometimes Jews,but they never “LOOK” authentically Italian.

    • oh my gosh, this was a great post. i'm so sorry. and i love your tantrum. and your family. and scout in the tub and the cow at the end and your stubborn louisey. i'm glad you shared this.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Gracias Ernesto. Estoy de acuerdo contigo en la importancia de la biodiversidad. Sin embargo no hay que caer en el error de enfrentar los transgénicos con la biodiversidad. Por otra parte Monsanto, como cualquier otra empresa, intenta abrirse nuevos caminos…es ley de vida y que conste que jamás he tenido vinculación alguna con ninguna empresa biotecnológica.Un saludo desde España.

    • OMG its a SHOEBOX!!! I live in California & Ive never even imagined they made apts so SMALL!!! Ive wondered why New York was so upscale & exclusive, I guess its Location! If I lived there I would just buy a loft…

    • To produce your current proposal wonderful, you are able to present a lovely, diamond-studded gemstone that the girlfriend so want to show off about amid the girl good friends. In the event you glimpse in bicycles, the particular history regarding proposing the woman along with necklaces ended up being started out by a Egypt emporer. Since that time, Egypt adult males accustomed to close their relationship of enjoy using a round metallic engagement ring, that the eliptical would likely characterize this perpetual group of friends associated with lifetime and the material showed the particular entrance inside.

    • OUI????Qui me réveille ?OK pour demain, OK pour le 09 à Neufchâtel.De toutes façons, moi, j’suis toujours OK: un peu comme papy BROSSARD… ou JC Vandamm, je n’sais plus…Bon, je vais me recoucher…

    • Bonita entrada sobre libros, como tú yo también sólo consumo libros. En cuanto al juego ahí van mis apuestas:Un libro: La forja de un rebelde de Arturo Barea.Autor: Ryszard Kapuscinski, el mejor reportero del mundo.Género: ViajesUn saludo.

  • Good luck!!! I had great (and pretty quick success) cutting out most dairy, most wheat, sweets and booze, while adding weight training twice a week to my exercise routine. A lot of people seem to like the myfitnesspal app: It makes you stop and realize how many calories really go down the hatch (and it made me kick croutons off my salads forever).

  • Peg

    What a great post of positives in your life–despite the continuing heart issues. I’m so happy to hear the therapy is working. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Mel

    I love that idea — a gift you’re giving yourself. I hadn’t thought about it that way, but it is making me rethink my cricket phobia and how much I want to be rid of it, and it would be a gift to myself. I love that you’ve gotten yourself to that space where you could fly.

  • Vasectomy. Huh. Never occurred to me either! That’s a brilliant solution.

    I’m glad the pericarditis doesn’t seem to be life-threatening. At least that’s what I’m gathering, no? It sounds scary though.

    I’m glad to hear you are overcoming your fear of flying. What an enormous weight to get rid of. I look forward to hearing about you getting on a plane and having a marvelous trip!

  • Though I am at a good weight, I had a fasting blood sugar reading in the 90s recently. Though it’s currently in the normal range (under 100), given the prevalence of diabetes in my family, I’ve tweaked the way I’m eating. As it turns out, the combination of carbohydrates and protein and fat really does seem to matter in terms of how my body uses the energy from food, and I find that I feel a lot better when I pay attention to the balance of those three.

    And I love that you’re making breakthroughs in your therapy and will be able to get on a plane soon. Freedom, lady. Freedom.


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