I feel like a fraud. I remember when writers of my favorite blogs stopped writing or their posts became so infrequent that I would forget, in between, where they were in their lives. I thought to myself, that will never happen with me. Writing and blogging and posting and communing is SO important to me. And, then, exactly that happened. My posts are few and far between, stolen moments as the busyness of life takes over.
With my husband out of town, it is even harder to find the time, but, yet, here I am because I NEED to be here. I need a respite from the noise, just to be and think and commune with myself and anyone who may still read anything that I post.
I have had a run of health/physical issues of late. It started with an outbreak of shingles (something I was first diagnosed with in the 1990s) likely due to combined stressors. Then, I ran full force into the corner of our coffee table causing a golf ball sized lump and now purple/green/yellow bruise above my knee. I then had a horrible case of indigestion/heartburn, something I never suffer from since having my gall bladder removed, that resulted in not being able to eat for 48 hrs. I gave G’s high chair (yes, this may seem like a non-sequiter but hang on) to a friend who, in turn, gave me a bottle of tangerine body lotion. An ingredient in the lotion caused me to break out in itchy welts all over my body, but most severely in the webbing of my fingers, the insides of my wrists, the area where my bra band sits, and around my low belly where my underwear waistband is. I have a known allergy to latex that causes something similar so there must have been a derivative or component in the ingredients that caused the reaction. That took 48 hrs to resolve. And, finally, my thyroid is completely out of whack (and has been since I gave birth to G 21 months ago). My TSH is as low as it can be and still have a reading (which means that I am severely HYPERthyroid and susceptible to abnormal heart rhythms). And, while this state would normally cause me to lose weight easily, it has actually resulted in me gaining 10# in 30 days despite my best efforts. It has been SO demoralizing and frustrating and worrisome. (I am in touch with my doctors on everything and we have made adjustments to my medication, but any adjustment requires six weeks to take affect so my next labs will be in six weeks. Who knows what my weight will do in that time).
I phone interviewed two realtors in Portland and will be meeting with both during our visit. I’ve perused 100s of listings on-line and have a fairly good idea of the market, neighborhoods, etc. Of course, I won’t know what neighborhood feels right for our family until our visit. Did I mention that we decided to go earlier rather than later?
Which brings me to that. We fly out on Saturday. We.fly.out. In anticipation of having to fly, I did several (six or seven) sessions of EMDR therapy. I am going to try to squeeze one more in before we go, but that is TBD. I am trying to think I feel mostly OK with this pending flight, but I am completely unsure if I really do. And, while I will still take ativan to manage my anxiety, I have NO idea how I am going to fare. Given that we are 3 days out, that I’m not chronically in tears or on the verge of throwing up, is its own improvement. We haven’t started packing, yet, which will add another layer, but I am trying to keep my emotions in check. The truth is, I have no confidence that I will actually make the flight since historically I wouldn’t. The rubber is about to meet the road. I want to feel confident, with absolute surety, that it’s going to be OK, that I am stronger than my fear, but that feels unreliable at best.
Just typing the above makes me feel like crying, but I am not crying, so, there’s that.
In the meantime, speech therapy with G continues. At 21+ mos he still has no words (not one) but he babbles and engages constantly and understands complex commands, knows his colors and shapes and animals and body parts and some sign language. On this front, we’ll just keep at it.
Oh, and my mom’s birthday was on Saturday. I was already contending with if/how to see them (my mom was forcing my hand in a way quintessentially her), so we decided to just pop over on Friday evening on our way out to dinner (that way, our time would be limited with two hungry kids in tow). I stopped and picked up some hand-crafted ice cream and we made our way. In addition to visiting with them at their house (that I’ve haven’t been to in 3+ yrs), I somehow decided it would be go a good idea to invite them along with us for dinner. This is all deserving of its own post, or maybe it’s not. It was uneventful even if painful in an “I can’t believe I am doing this” kind of way. It was a kind thing for me to do and I am trying to focus on that instead of how being around her makes me feel.
Mostly, I am thrilled at the prospect of moving. We’ve had record heat, gosh, since forever, with temps this last weekend in the triple digits and still into the high 90s. Ironically, it should rain the entire time we’re in Portland. YAY!
Thanks in favor of sharing such a good idea,
piece of writing is good, thats why i have
read it entirely
Thanks , I’ve just been searching for info approximately this topic for ages and
yours is the greatest I have came upon till now. However, what
concerning the bottom line? Are you certain about the source?
When someone writes an piece of writing he/she keeps the idea of a user in his/her mind that
how a user can understand it. So that’s why this article is amazing.
Thanks!
You need to be a part of a contest for one
of the best sites online. I’m going to highly recommend this web
site!
Right away I am ready to do my breakfast, after having my
breakfast coming again to read additional news.
I think this is among the most significant info for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things,
The web site style is perfect, the articles is really excellent :
D. Good job, cheers
Thank you, I have recently been searching for info approximately this topic
for a while and yours is the greatest I have found out so far.
But, what about the bottom line? Are you positive concerning the supply?
you’re in reality a excellent webmaster. The site loading velocity
is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique trick.
Also, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve performed a
great process on this matter!
Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new project in a
community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work
on. You have done a wonderful job!
Valuable information. Fortunate me I found your web site unintentionally, and I’m surprised why this coincidence didn’t came about
in advance! I bookmarked it.
I have recently started a site, the info you provide on this
site has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work.
Generally I don’t read post on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do it!
Your writing style has been surprised me. Thank you, very nice post.
Great article.
Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of.
I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries that they just don’t know about.
You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing
without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get
more. Thanks
This is my first time pay a visit at here and i am truly impressed to
read everthing at single place.
I am no longer positive the place you are getting your
info, but great topic. I must spend a while learning more or
understanding more. Thank you for magnificent info I used to be in search
of this info for my mission.
Although being aware of keyword percentages is a good idea, it is more important
that content be relevant and useful to the visitor. The trends in this
industry change and new developments take place only when Google comes up
with some novel feature that ends up breaking every site’s SEO and compels them to consider a change in their current content presentation in order to do well.
Auro – real estate home for sale in bethesda md
(Justine)
has a strong team that is built on the delivery of outstanding campaign results, customer service and appreciation, and high levels
of technical capabilities and values. Further the sites whose ranking using
the search engines is good will attract potential clients, which results to mores sales.
Com no sentido de terceira idade chegam algumas doenças.
It also offers paypal buttpns tto ggo along wuth your onlkine store.
As the name denotes, shared web hosting means a number of small to medium-sized users upload their websits and “serve”
them up to thhe Internet from a single, shared server.
Making a website isn’t enough; itt has to be added
to the internet through website hosting.
Hurrah! At last I got a website from where I know how to in fact obtain valuable facts regarding my study
and knowledge.
It’s difficult to find experienced people in this particular subject, however,
you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
That’s not even 10 minuets well spent!
I appreciate you taking to time to contribute That’s very helpful.
I think they’re still gorgeous in that pose I agree with most of people.It’s normal to act like that, it’s humanity to be so exhausted.The girls must be so tired ..give them some break..They have worked very hard .
I don't buy into the BS spewed by the Cuomo campaign about Paladino. To me he told the public the truth about how he felt, and like it or not he has the right to feel that way. His mistake was having the courage to say it. (how about that…a candidate actually telling the truth about himself) New York will never change until we rid ourselves of the "democratic death grip" choking it. And I don't think this election will loosen it any, although I'm always optimistic.
Yes. the Actuary Tables and Records kept by DMV,Insurance Companies, Federal,State,County,(Parish) and City are there for life. Was this answer helpful?
Excellent blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or
go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused ..
Any ideas? Cheers!
May I simply just say what a relief to uncover someone who truly knows what they are talking about on the web.
You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and
make it important. A lot more people really need to check this
out and understand this side of your story. I can’t believe you’re not
more popular given that you certainly possess the gift.
First of all I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question which I’d
like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and
clear your thoughts prior to writing. I’ve had
a tough time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems
like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be wasted just trying to figure out how to begin.
Any recommendations or hints? Appreciate it!
Wonderful website. Lots of helpful information here.
I am sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious.
And of course, thanks in your sweat!
It is also a good suggestion that you just talk about together with your family
and friends if they will suggest you some good hotels.
my blog; bookingbuddy (Logan)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about best headset.
Regards
You are not at all a fraud. You’re just busy; so much going on.
Wanted to pop in and say ahead of your flight tomorrow: YOU CAN DO THIS. You’re not going to feel strong, or brave, but you can do this. Tons of good thoughts being sent from me in MA to you. Mel’s right, we’ll be with you the whole way.
xoxo
I hate my life but at least this makes it beealbra.
I like 3 sites:ezinearticles.com – high page rank and favored by Googleartciledashboard.com – high page rank and your articles get downloaded and posted elsewhere.goarticles.com – easy & quick to post article. Has a low page rank but good traffic. Your articles get downloaded heaps here.
Just been to NY, your photos make me so jealous. Especially the Red Velvet cupcake photo, men those cupcakes are good! If only we could take them back to Holland…Love your Zara fur coat, it looks really good on you!Love Lian – VFV
That’s really thinking at a high level
That insight’s perfect for what I need. Thanks!
Perante à sociedade é obrigatório, homem que não arruma namorada é chamado de gay se realmente for gay é chamado de Cabasso e se for mulher vai ser chamada de encalhada.Se você guentar a pressão da sociedade é facultativo.
Wow, that you’ve gotten this far is amazing and brave. I agree with Mel, just keep repeating that to yourself. Looking forward to reading about how it all goes…so exciting!
Wow, wow, wow: sending lots of good thoughts for the flight. You are brave. Write that on a piece of paper. Hold that paper on the flight or keep it in your pocket. We will be right there with you. Good luck with house hunting!
I feel the same way about my blog – I once thought I’d never ever abandon it, and I don’t want to, but I find myself posting less and less. I guess a little is better than nothing.
And wow, that is so brave of you to fly to Portland! You will have to let us know how it goes. (I think moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone is brave, too.)
It is always good to read a post from you when you can find the time to write here. I certainly know what it is to be overtaken with the busyness of life!
Good luck with your trip to Portland. I’m sure you will have consulted with Marna from PVED and others you know who are local to the area for recommendations about where to stay, eat, look for homes, etc.
Wherever You Go, There You Are – and we’ll be there for you too. Don’t worry about that and everything else will work out. I hope your health stabilizes and that your trip is lovely.