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Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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50 before 50

Happy New Year! I hope that however you chose to ring in the new year and flip a page on our annual calendar, that you did so in the manner of your liking.

I am not one for making resolutions. They set me up for failure and self-flagellation. It must be noted and cannot be avoided that my 50th birthday will occur in May, 2016. As I begin the march forward with much anticipation of celebrating a half-century on this planet, there are things that, unless I write them down, turn my limited attention toward them, create a spreadsheet for tracking, and check them off, they simply won’t occur. The busy-ness of life has a way, like water, of seeking its level.

There has been tremendous freedom of mind, heart, and soul in completing our family. And, while I continue to be a supportive and experiential coach for fellow infertiles trying to start or complete their families, that does not take up near the amount of time that my own journey did. I have been encouraged, and this is a post for another time, to start an infertility coaching business. Since my clinic is uninterested (read: cheap) in moving forward with a concierge roll but because it is something I am passionate about and qualified for, it is possible that it is the venture that I will move forward with.

The freedom from not being in the struggle myself has, though, created a bit of inertia in my life. Of course, I am raising young children and their lives are at the center of my own, but I am a multi-demensional woman and want and need to use my talents beyond being a wife and mother. It is in the spirit of self-enrichment, goal setting and attaining, the true desire to maximize this one life I have at a time when I am physically and intellectually still able, that I created a 50 before 50 list. These are things that are important to me, in varying degrees, and I know that in their pursuit my life will be richer and deeper and productive and joyful. I am posting the list here as I need accountability and you, my dear readers, are just the sort to provide it.

IIWII’s 50 before 50
1. Hummingbird tattoo
2. Lose 30#s
3. Maintain weight loss
4. Fully incorporate the THM lifestyle
5. Take a flower arranging class
6. Take piano lessons
7. Take Italian language class
8. Find a new source of income (fertility coach, perhaps, or franchise owner)
9. Become a board member of at least one organization that I’m passionate about
10. Volunteer my time in a meaningful way
11. At least one overnight getaway weekend with DH
12. See JM in person (which may happen in Feb-15)
13. Attend 18 date nights (one/mo from Nov.14-May.16)
14. Attend 18 MNOs (one/mo from Nov.14-May.16)
15. Plan at least one girls overnight getaway
16. Eliminate hangers-on as friends. Acquaintances are one thing; takers masquerading as friends is another)
17. Go to a concert/play/entertainment event
18. Visit a place I’ve never been
19. Go on a family road trip
20. Go whale watching
21. Begin writing draft of memoir
22. Get a piece of writing published or printed or reproduced somewhere
23. Eliminate refined sugar/carbs from diet (See #3)
24. Learn how to take better photos
25. Ride a horse
26. Consult a financial/real estate/estate planner
27. Consult a psychic
28. Visit the cemetery
29. Go to a show taping (Fashion Police, maybe, as I have a contact and love Kathy Griffin)
30. Publish at least one blog post weekly
31. Drink more fluids daily
32. Have my body fat measured
33. Create G’s baby book
34. New haircut/style/color
35. Handwrite letters/notes/cards to friends
36. Resume search for birth father
37. Some form of strenuous physical exercise 5 times/wk (for now that will be CB and P90X)
38. Have more sex
39. Begin a facial rejuvenation routine (consultation set of 1/17/15)
40. Read 1 book/mo
41. Reduce clutter/organize cabinets
42. Review/purge what’s in the boxes in the garage attic
43. Scan meaningful old pictures
44. Sell jewelry that I set aside to sell 4 yrs ago
45. Whiten teeth
46. Make a new friend (in process)
47. Try a new cuisine/food (I have already tried fried dill pickles, but that doesn’t count)
48. Be more present with my boys
49. One random act of kindness a week
50. Prioritize and complete DIY home improvement projects (as money & time permit)

Finally, if you can help me with anything on this list, perhaps you have a skill or a horse, please contact me dolfynstar@gmail.com.

11 comments to 50 before 50

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  • […] 50th birthday is 10 mos away and my 50 before 50 is always top of mind. The list is somewhat fluid, evolving, and changing as my priorities and […]

  • […] feel slightly reconnected to the blogosphere. So remiss am I at writing (and failing at #30 on my 50 before 50), that my 5 year blogoversary came and went back in January with nary a celebratory word from me. […]

  • […] 50 before 50 » Plague of 2015, a 50b50 Fail, Birth Parent News I am taking my 50 before 50 seriously and […]

  • would your clinic or other nearby healthcare organization have you as a concierge say, for one year, if you could get a grant to fund your salary? Our hospital has similar positions (cancer concierges, art therapist) and they begin with outside funding but then when they are seen as at asset we work with them to secure funding through grants and hospital resources.

  • Mel

    I do like the idea of you starting your own business separate from the clinic itself. Harder, of course, but ultimately more within your control.

    I love this list, especially since so much of it is simple to do if you set aside the time to do it (sell jewelry, etc). But I would love to help with anything with the memoir. #21 or #22.

  • sarah

    I honestly love all of these!!! Not that you’re making this list for anyone but yourself, of course. I started taking piano lessons two years ago and I know I’ll never be a concert pianist (as if that was in question), but it does feel good to have a hobby that isn’t double duty for something else that needs doing for anyone/thing in the household(ie, cooking, decorating, working…) Although I’ll admit I’d love it if the kids would be inspired top play ,music. There is an article floating around out there about learning piano at different stages in your life. DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE! It did not make me feel better about my decision to pick it up at 37…I’m hoping you’ll blog some updates? Happy 2015 to you, sounds like you have your work cut out for you!

  • Claire

    Holy crap!!!you don’t do New Year’s resolutions? This sounds like a two year resolution list on steroids!!!!
    Wow!!!! I hope you’re drinking a lot of caffeine because you are going to need it!
    Good luck! I’ll be cheering you on!!!!!

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