I posted recently that my mom sent a letter to my birth mother. Since my last few attempts at corresponding with my birth mother (including the floral arrangement I sent her for her birthday in April) have gotten nary a response, I wasn’t sure if she would respond to my mom. But, she did:
The IRL friends I’ve shared this with have been mostly interested in how I feel about it and to that I would say this: it is not at all surprising to me and it only emboldens me to find my birth father. If other opportunities arise to work on my birth mother, I will, but she is a dead end and I need to pursue other avenues.
To that end, I submitted my DNA for analysis to ancestry.com and have gotten the results back. My ethnicity shook out thusly:
Europe West 18%
Great Britain 11%
Iberian Peninsula 9%
Trace Regions 4%
West Asia 13%
The closest DNA relative matches I got was two third cousins which means that we shared great-great grandparents (and both cousins are of Italian descent (which my birth mother is not) so I’m fairly certain they are on my birth father’s side). One of them has his profile administered by a 3rd party (possibly another family member) and the other hasn’t logged into the website in over a year. I have a slew of 4th-6th cousins, but the one 3rd cousin that’s active on the site seems the most promising. Oh, and the person who is administering his profile lives in MA, hometown of both my birth parents. I haven’t figured out what to say in making contact, yet.
My mom offered to fly me out to MA so that I could either show up on my birth mother’s doorstep and/or find out what church she attends and get a meeting with her priest to see if he’d be of any help. I’m not likely to do either.
For those who are wondering why I don’t just let it go, the simple answer is that I can’t, not yet, anyway, not as long as she is alive and is the only living person to know his name or until I exhaust other avenues. My birth father makes up half of who I am and unless you know how it feels to not know about half of yourself, I can’t explain it.
If you have any suggestions about finding my birth father, please leave a comment.
Next up: I was right, there is something wrong with my health and after three rounds of tests confirmed it’s with my pituitary, I’m scheduled for an MRI.