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Our Journey

2002 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #1

2003 1st consult with an RE, you know, just in case

2003 Got Married (at 37 (me) & 34 (DH) years old)

2003/2004 Naturally conceived pregnancies BFPs #1, #2, & #3 and miscarriages #1, #2, #3

2005 Uterine Fibroid Surgery #2

2005 IVF #1, BFN #1

2005 IUIs #1 and #2, just because, BFN #2 & #3

2005 FET from IVF #1, BFN #4

2006 Exploratory surgery to remove scar tissue from fibroid sugery #2

2006 IVF #2 (w PGD), BFP #4

2006 Emergency cerclage for IC @ 16w6d (5 months + 1 week of complete bed rest at home ensues)

2007 Our son is born @ 38w by scheduled c-section

2007 IVF #3 for baby #2, BFN #5

2007 IVF #4, BFP #5, miscarriage #4

2008 IVF #5, BFP #6, miscarriage #5

2008 IVF #6, BFP #7, miscarriage #6

2008 DE IVF #7, BFN #6

2009 DEFET #8, cancelled, embryos don't thaw

2010 Decide to adopt domestically

12.17.10 Profile is live with our agency

November 2011 Consult with RE re: donated embryo cycle

Early January 2012 Cleared to proceed with deFET

January 2012 Freeze our profile

1.20.12 deFET begins
2.12.12 eSET of one compacted morula
2.22.12 BFN

3.23.12 deFET #2 begins
4.14.12 transfer 3 embryos (1-8 cell, 1-5 cell, 1-4 cell)
4.22.12 + HPT
4.24.12 Beta #1 = 48.4
4.26.12 Beta #2 = 125.7
4.30.12 Beta #3 = 777.8
5.11.12 1st U/S - Singleton!
7.12.12 It's a Boy!
12.26.12 C-section: Baby G is born, 9#5oz, 20.5"

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Things, they are a-changin

The discriminatory stance that the Boy Scouts of America has taken against gays among their ranks has been a thorn in my side since I knew my first born would be a boy. Our position as parents, that our sons would not join a group that discriminates against gay boys or gay leaders, has been unpopular among our many friends who aren’t as passionate as we are about equal civil rights. I have been quite vocal at school meetings (where the scouts recruit boys), with my fellow mothers, on Facebook, etc. I’ve spoken to my gay friends and promised my solidarity regardless of the pressure. And, yes, as a result, we had to begin having conversations with our son two years ago about what it means to be inclusive and why joining the Cub-then-Boy-Scouts would not happen as long as they excluded gay boys and men.

It’s caused many a heated debate with otherwise decent friends because our not allowing our son to join caused problems of exclusion from events for him. But, I would not relent, and would not cave to their pressure.

Our most recent conversations have centered around how our older son would feel if the Boy Scouts (or any group) wouldn’t allow red-heads to join. Would he want to be a member of a group that his brother couldn’t be a part of. His answer was a resounding NO! It was easy, then, to draw the parallel between his brother’s red-hair, something he was born with, and someone’s sexual orientation, something they were born with. In this way, he is able to understand.

In May, the president of the BSA called for a lift on the ban of gay leaders but also said that he would not call for a vote on the matter during the remainder of his two year tenure. The story sort of died after that and just last week I asked my friends who have boys in the Scouts if they’d heard anything new, to which they replied, no.

So, imagine my surprise when one of those moms sent this to me yesterday. We are now one vote away from having the choice of becoming a Scout family, provided our local chapter also supports gays in leadership roles.

5 comments to Things, they are a-changin

  • Ana

    As the mother of 2 boys, who got a lot of my time in the Girl Scouts, the discriminatory stance of the BSA has saddened me, because like you, I don’t want our family to be any part of it. I hope things turn around in the next couple of years so we, too, can be a Boy Scouts family. I am proud of the Girl Scouts open and loud support of equality, esp. in regards to transgender children, and I hope the boy scouts can follow suit.

  • It’s a step in the right direction. I feel it would be more appropriate for the leadership to lead the whole organization to the inclusive future. Leaving it each chapter to decide still leaves room for discrimination. None the less though.. change is in the air & that’s to be celebrated:)

  • Sarah

    Fantastic news! And your friends? Shame on them, how are they still stuck in old thinking on this? I love how you explained your position on this to your kids.

  • Mel

    I was just talking about this over at Illustr8d on her boy scout post. It’s too little too late for us. I’m hopeful for future generations, but the organization is just too tainted for us to participate.

  • California mom

    Good for you, sticking to your guns.

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